Same shit, different day. Sometimes I get some different shit on the same day.

Monday, June 21, 2004

"they're creepy and they're kooky". part I.
Due to it being Fathers day yesterday I had to go and visit my dysfunctional family (they took the fun out of dysfunctional) I took the boys with me but Wifey stayed at home to finish painting the kitchen ceiling (yes, even being 6 mths pregnant, she would rather get tired, painty and bored than visit my folks!)
My family;
Dad, in his 70's, had to give up smoking 60 a day in his 50's when he had a heart attack, took up drinking instead, he still "practises" drinking. Now spends his every waking moment looking after;-
Stepmother, in her 50's, fat, demanding, miserable, selfish. After Dad had his heart attack she "supported" him by going out all the time, critising, and generally letting him get on with wallowing in self pity and drink. Well what goes around comes around as they say and now the boot is well and truly on the other foot. She was struck down with multiple Sclerosis and now is wheelchair bound and unable to do anything for herself.

I'm not saying she shouldn't be miserable, if I was in her position I doubt if I'd be laughing and joking all the time, it's just that she makes my dad's life unnessacarily hard by critising him and telling him he's doing this and that wrong. He's been lifting her in and out of a wheelchair for about 13 yrs now, he knows what to do but he is not physically capable any more he is ,after all, an old man.
If this sounds a bit harsh, just try to remember, being disabled doesn't automatically make you a nice person.
Anyway, it's time to go home so I'll finish in partII soon.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Families deny Euro fans' violence
Here are some classic quotes from the BBC's website from the family's of some of the people arrested in Portugal.

"The mother of a 19-year-old archaeology and ancient history student arrested in Albufeira said he had tried to run away when trouble erupted outside a bar."

"They were sitting outside a pub, having a drink, and some trouble started a couple of tables away,"

"The mother of another Briton detained on Monday night said he was a "lovely lad".

"He must have been in the wrong place at the wrong time," she said. "I can't believe he would be a hooligan."

"A neighbour described him as a "most inoffensive young man" who did not have "an aggressive bone in his body".

and my favourite,
"really lovely lads" who had never given their parents, Michael and Mary, any trouble".

This is the funniest thing I've seen written by the BBC for years!!

Friday, June 11, 2004

I'm the King of the world
I typed "bloggocks" into google and this blog comes out on top. Fantastic!

Thursday, June 10, 2004

slow news week
After reporting pretty much nothing but the weather all week, today's papers are concentrating on the serious mens health issue of testicular cancer. All the quality papers (actually the sun and the Star) have on the cover pictures of David Beckham in his pants, er, "checking himself". While I appreciate the seriousness of this issue I think this kind of "celebrity 'nad fondling" is unessacary.
I much preffered the pictures inside of Britney Spears in full riding tackle.
While on the subject of the papers, the Star excelled themselves this week. last w/e what happened? not much of importance,no, just a few trivial things like the D-Day anniversary, 3 women shot at a BBQ, Ronald Reagan dying and on monday the Star's front page was a big pic of Jennifer Ellison in her skimpies and the lead story "I romped with big brother tranny Nadia"

Saturday, June 05, 2004

A grand day out
Wifey, the boys and I went to Legoland (or Legoland-Windsor as Big'un calls it so as not to get confused with any other Legolands there might be)on wednesday and we had really good time. We've been a few times before and the only thing that made this visit different was that I bumped into an old friend, Andy Trufflefuffle.
I knew trufflefuffle from when I used to go Diving and we used to go out drinking in a group, the 3 amigos and the other one (trufflefuffle was the other one). The 3 amigos consisted of myself,the W and Adam. We met Trufflefuffle through diving as I said and I knew Adam because he was the W's brother in law. I had been best friends with the W all through school, and this post is really about him.
All through our friendship I had played second fiddle to the W, he was full of chat, good with ladies (for an ugly ginger git, he had some gorgeous girlfriends), and popular. I was always just his mate. Throughout school and our late teens / early 20's we just had a laugh constantly, had some serious binges and did some pretty stupid things.
He settled done with a lovely girl (Adam's wife's sister), moved out to Grays and got engaged, but when I met someone things started to change. The W didn't like my girl and she didn't like him. She didn't like the way he treated me and he didn't like being told that.
Over the years he had done some pretty horrible things to me but I just turned a blind eye or shrugged it off, examples :- he seemed to make it his goal to shag anyone I was interested in and he did this at least 3 times, he bought a motorcrosser and insisted I get my own as we would have much more fun with one each as soon as I bought mine he sold his and 'cos the bikes were kept in his yard I had to sell it and, one of his favourites would be to offer around smokes to people in the pub who he was talking to but when he got to me he would say "you can smoke your own".
I split up with the girl and was struggling to cope with a mortagage on my own all he did to help was critise me for not going out as much. When I did go out I used to ride on a 125 to Grays from Barking (15 miles approx)to meet him in his local pub were he had a new group of friends, only to have him take the piss and put me down in front of them. Needless to say I soon got pretty tired off this and stopped going. If went out with any different friends the W would always make sarcastic comments about it almost as if he was jealous.
After a couple of wilderness years I was back on my feet and I met Wifey, she didn't like the W either and he didn't like her.
The W was dumped by his fiancee as she found out he had been having affairs. Typically of him he blamed anyone and everyone for this as it couldn't be his fault despite the fact that everyone in their local new it was going on and she literally was the last to know.
He then set up with his bit on the side, who was as dim as a 20 watt bulb and had all the get up and go of a tree stump but she was blond with big tits.
I got married, he was my best man. I saw less and less of him.
One night we went out for a drink (me driving to him, of course) afterwards I had a big go at him for being such a wanker, he claimed he was sorry and he would try to be a better friend etc etc. When I got home I told wifey and I said " you know what, he is jealous, jealous of me, jealous of you, our life, everything" and I realised that underneath this facade of personality and all his boasting about money and brashness he was just a sad attention seeker.
When Big' un was born he and the dimbo turned up at the hospital, he looked at the baby, sniffed and then went and sat in the corner and read a mag. Wifey hasn't seen him since ( nearly 6 yrs) and I only saw him a couple of more times.
Last year he phoned me up out of the blue, he'd found out I'd moved and got my new number from somemwhere. He was very friendly and chatty but still all he was really interested in was telling me what cars he'd had, how he'd bought and sold a house and made X amount of money and blah blah blah me me me.
The very next night he phoned me again and said the dimbo's gone out did I fancy going for a beer?, what this said to me was, that he was desperate for friends. I made some excuse about washing my hair or poking my eyes out with hot needles and said that I'd stop off at his yard on my way home from work the following week.
Wifey asked " are you going to see him? " I thought about it, about how long we were mates, about how many good times we had, about how much I had put into the friendship compared with how much I had got out of it and said "no, he's a cunt"