Blinded by the light or blind stupidity
The last part of my route home on the SV involves going up a small hill and then turning right. Not too difficult you might think, and normally you'd be right but last night proved a bit tricky due to some car driving twat.
Let me explain, so I'm riding up the hill and the approaching cars are partially blinding me with their lights. I indicate right and conveniently there is a gap in the oncoming traffic caused by a bus pulling out from the bus stop. I look into my turning and see a car almost at the end of the road, I adjust my turn so as not to cut the corner, look up at the approaching bus and turn into the road. So far so good. As I make the turn I have the lights from the bus and the car dazzling me together and suddenly I realise that the car isn't coming out of the turning but he is parked on the wrong side of the road and I have overshot the turning and am heading straight for the curb!. I am now in no-mans land with a bus bearing down on me, fortunately because this pillock wasn't quite at the end of the road I managed to get round with some difficulty but without falling off or getting twatted by the bus.
The twatting great pillock realised his extreme stupidity as I went across in front of him and turned his lights down. I acknowledged this by shouting " you fucker " as loudly as I could at the inside of my crash helmet.

"Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day"....
....Unfortunately I don't seem to have any dull days now, only very busy ones at work and at home.
The thing is I don't get time to Blog at home and I don't like Blogging at work when other people are about. In an effort to help me blog more consistently I have been trying to note my thoughts down on my PDA but now I find I don't even have time to do this. And what's more we are currently negotiating a new service level agreement with the client in which they want us to do lots of additional paperwork documenting all the calls that we do, the faults and resolutions, which means I will have even less time. And further still our sales people are trying to get some machines replaced but the client is driving the cost down hard and sales have said the only way we can get the cost down further is by taking out an engineer!.
So the print volumes are up, therefore we have more calls, the client want's more from us and we might lose a person. Great. Just fucking great.

and then one day you find ten.... days have flashed past. just like that. blinked missed it. fuck.

Breaking News Update Flash
Ok so I haven't posted for a while, we've had a baby for christ's sake !
so time for a quick update of all things,

1) "The baby"
... is doing fine, he is really well put together and seems quite strong and sturdy, it looks like Wifey has cooked up another good'un. He sleeps quite well and hasn't been much trouble, Little'un on the other hand has.
It seems seems Little'un is a bit put out by his baby brother and has been very tearful and his behaviour has got worse (it was pretty bad before!). We have been giving him lots of attention and cuddles and keeping him involved but it seems that two and a half is not a good age to be presented with a baby!.
Big'un, at age six, has taken the whole thing in his stride and is more concerned with Pokemon than his new baby.
2) Uniformity (see post "yes, we are all individuals")
well I had two weeks paternity leave and came back to find the uniforms in place and everybody wearing them, except the printroom droids who have weaseled out of it but are under strict instructions not to take the piss or they will all have to wear it. One of the supervisors, known as The Grudge, must be finding this particulary difficult.
The BCH has gone. He got to a point where it was time to put up or shut up so he put up and left the site!. I arranged a collection for him in which he did very well (a leatherman tool, an angle grinder and some beer vouchers).
The BCH was not only Big Chief Head engineer in this site but he was also the team leader for the Docklands.
Anyway time's getting on, I've got work outstanding and the new bloke is due in any minute so time to fold away this blog I'll continue this later, or more probably tomorrow.

A child is born
at 06:30 on monday 13th the baby made an appearance.
A boy weighing in at 6lbs 14 and a half oz's. It was a fairly quick labour (7.5 hrs) and relatively painless (for me anyway) as wifey was whacked up on gas & air. Mother and baby are doing fine and "the baby" has no problems making his presence felt in the customary manner, screaming.
We got lots of congrats etc from family and friends except for, yes you guessed it, my parents.
Lots going on at the moment at work aswell as home and I'll be at home for the next 2 weeks on paternity leave.
Busy busy busy got to go.

D-Day + 3
no movement yet.
Wifey want's to get it over and done now. There are various things that you can do to start off labour so we did one of these things yesterday morning. Funnily enough it was the same thing that we did to get pregnant in the first place!

D-day plus 1 and counting
The baby was due yesterday, so far wifey has had nothing more than a few twinges in her lower back although she did say a couple of day's ago that her bump felt "lower". Currently I'm at defcon 4 and I shit myself everytime the phone rings.
Wifey is pretty fed up at the moment and feeling a bit low, she had had a massive rage at me on bank holiday monday which lasted 3 days, kicked off by the fact that I put on the dishwasher instead of the washing m/c (DOH! whatever was I thinking?). She is bored at home and having both boys all day for the school holiday while being heavily preggers was a strain.
Big'un has gone back to school now and is in year 1 which is th estart of "proper" school as reception year was more of a relaxed introduction.

D-day
our 3rd child is due today.
No movement yet.

Happy Birthday!
Big'un was 6 today!.
We took him, little'un and the beast-next-door to Gray's Beach which is a big sand filled play area with slides, climbing frames and a "splash" area. Gray's beach is a pretty good place, and it's free (a small charge is made for the splash area) all 3 boys had a great time.
Later on my bruv came over and we all went bowling (beast not included).
As per normal my parents let me down, dad brought my brother over, gave Big'un a card and mumbled something about not having time to get and buy a present. He doesn't work.
I haven't got the time or the inclination to rant about them at the moment but there is a prolonged rant brewing.

Let's get ready to rumble!
On wednesday I went to see a bloke I know in the cabling dept to "borrow" a cable, while I was there he said he was selling his wife's biker's outfit including a pretty good helmet all nearly new and hardly worn. I was interested in the lid but he said someone else had first refusal so that was that.
So yesterday the phone rings, I answer and hear raised voices, the cable guy comes on and says "Mick is that you?, when was it I showed you that crash helmet?" (more raised voices in background)
"wednesday" I reply.
The cable guy says " it was in perfect nick wasn't it, no marks or scratches?"
before I could answer I hear lots of shouting and swearing he asks the question again and I say "not that I saw" (more shouting etc)
"Mick can you come down and tell this cunt that........" Before I can answer the level of shouting and swearing goes up, the phone his end gets dropped and I can hear all shorts of swearing and scuffling and shouting. What should I do? should I go down and assist?, should I phone security? in the end I chose the only sensible option, I put him on speaker phone.

Yes we are all individual's.
In the bank where I am one of the resident engineers, the client has decreed that from next week we will have to wear uniforms.
This has been in the pipeline for a few weeks now and has caused a right old tear up. The printroom droids have now been told they don't have to wear it but the 3 of us, the messengers, the Ricoh engineer and the fax engineers do.
The idea is apparently so that people know who we are when we are strolling about the place in pursuit of excellence in the field of copier repair, hence the printroom droids don't have to wear it as the clients come to them.
Cap'n bob, as usual, doesn't have much of an opinion and just shrugs his shoulders a lot, I don't want to wear the uniform but at the end of the day the client wants it so wear it or leave the site!. The BCH on the other hand has started a one man crusade to get out of wearing it. E-mails have been flying fast and furious, there has been much cutting and pasting from the websites of people such as citizens advice and the HSE, his list of demands include lockers, changing and washing facilities.
So far he has managed to piss off just about everybody, he has undoubtedly made matters worse and has also managed to get us banned from changing out of our bike gear (BCH is a biker aswell) in the room we have used for the last 6 yrs!
Any way the "stylish" uniforms consist of a shirt with "corprate services in association with (company name)" and our company logo written on them, dark blue chinos and a fleece with the same writing.
I enjoy quite a good position here, I am well thought of by the client and get loads of overtime, so the uniform is not that big a deal for me. I don't want to wear it but they say I have to so that's that. The BCH has painted himself into a corner and is fully prepared to leave the site and go back to pounding the beat in the city again, which is looking quite likely at the moment.
This raises a another question, if the BCH goes who will replace him?

Let's get ready to rumble!
On wednesday I went to see a bloke I know in the cabling dept to "borrow" a cable, while I was there he said he was selling some bikers kit including a pretty good helmet all nearly new and hardly worn. I was interested in the lid but he said someone else had first refusal so that was that.
So yesterday the phone rings, I answer and hear raised voices, the cable guy comes on and says
"Mick is that you?, when was it I showed you that crash helmet?" (more raised voices in background)
"wednesday" I reply.
The cable guy says "it was in perfect nick wasn't it, no marks or scratches?"
before I could answer I hear lots of shouting and swearing, he asks the question again and I say
"not that I saw" (more shouting etc)
"Mick can you come down and tell this cunt that.........?"
Before I can answer the level of shouting and swearing goes up, the phone his end getsdropped and I can hear all shorts of swearing and scuffling and shouting. What should I do? should I go down and assist?, should I phone security? in the end I chose the only sensible option, I put him on speaker phone.

Home and away
The 1st week of the course went smoothly, there are 3 others on it all of whom are OK. The format of the course is standard fare for technical training; -
instructor gives over view of machine, students become drowsy,
instructor tells student to complete workbook or CBT, students sleep,
instructor tells students to carry out practical tasks as per workbook, students wake up and ignore the set task and proceed to strip the machine to component level and put it back together (with less screws).
In the evening we managed to eat and drink and hog the pool table for 1 1/2 hrs at a time, we also managed to get out and see Spiderman 2 which was excellent.
On my way home last friday (30/07) I was on the M4 just starting to overtake a lorry, when Mr Lorry driver (from this point on to be referred to as "the tosser") suddenly indicates and starts to move over at the same time. I had to brake hard ,the hired Fiat Punto I was in fortunately had reasonable brakes (which is about the only good thing I can say about it) the tosser saw me and moved back into his lane. As he was still indicating I waited just behind him for a minute, he didn't move again so I overtook him. As I went past, the fucking tosser had the nerve to stick his hand out and give me the all powerful wanker sign, which was a bit rich as his other hand was clamping his mobile to his ear!. Isn't funny how people like him are never in the wrong.
Anyhoo, saturday 31st, wifey and the boys went off to sunny clacton with her parents to stay in a caravan and I was home alone WooHoo!
Week 2 of the course was considerably slower and consisted mainly of loading software on the machines and the colour servers. We went bowling on tuesday and saw a preview screening of I, Robot on thursday. I, Robot was not bad, quite enjoyable but lacked the thrills and excitement of Spiderman 2.
So, back reality wifey and the boys are due back any time and I'm looking forward to seeing them, and back to real work on monday ho hum!

It's a hard life
As of Monday I'm off on a technical training course for 2 weeks. Which involves being given a hire car to drive there and back(there incidently is a mansion house in a little one horse village between Reading and Basingstoke), staying in the mansion from sunday night to friday morning, being plied with free food (mmmnn big brekkies every day ) use of the "executive center's" pool, jacuzzi, sauna etc and there may be some drinking involved.
Unfortunately the course also involves being bored rigid with technical details etc of a new colour copier / printer for 10 days

Film Review (this review may contain spoilers)
The w/e before last I managed to see HP and the Prisoner of Azkaban and after looking forward to this film for ages I have to say I was a little disappointed. That's not to say it was a bad film, it's not, it's very good I just thought it wasn't as good an adaptation as the other two films. Gary Oldman is, without doubt, one of my favorite actors. it's a shame that until the fifth book, his role is quite small.
I much preferred the darker look, this is in keeping with the more serious nature of the story. The new look of Hogwarts and surroundings is ok, the location of Hagrids hut is more convincing, the special effects are much better and the acting is good.
The main criticisms I have are that some key plot points were left out (they may address this inThe Goblet of Fire), the opening scene, at the Dursley's, felt very rushed, Harry's disappointment at not being able to go to Hogsmeade wasn't really conveyed nor was the suspiciousness of Crookshanks the cat and there was no explanation of who Messrs Moony, wormtail, padfoot and Prongs were or the fact that they became animagus, deliberately, in support of their friend Moony/Lupin. Also the book has a very uplifting ending which was not in the film at all.
Having just finished reading the book again it is very easy for me to make comparisons that I may have been able to make otherwise.
Overall,  I liked Prisoner of Azkaban and I would recommend it to any who has seen the the two previous films although I would say if you have never read Harry Potter you should make this a priority. It's not just for kid's you know!

PartIII
On Saturday my Dad left a message on the answer phone;
"hello, just me, just phoning to give you an update on what's happening with us. Give us a ring when you get a mo'"
2 things struck me about this 1, I didn't know anything was happening with them and 2, the complete lack of "phoning to see how you are , how the boys are, how wifey's pregnancy is going".
I phoned on Sunday to be told that my step mother (the wheeled Behemoth)has been up the hospital with a grotesquely swollen foot which, I found out after an epic story, is a DVT. They spent 5 hours in Oldchurch A&E ,after being sent there by the community nurse for a scan, alternately being told that she didn't / did need a scan. When the staff decided she should have a scan they were told it was too late and they should come back tomorrow (last Thursday). After the scan they were told it definitely is a DVT and my stepmum would have to be on wharferin for the rest of her life.
During the visit for the scan they were told by the nurse that the 2 previous clots she had (1996 and 2003, due to being in a wheelchair) were classed as "life threatening" and "near fatal" as the 2nd one had started to move. Neither my dad or stepmum had been told this before.
Now given that they were sent to hospital by a nurse who knows the history and who also phoned the hospital to say they were coming and the hospital had the notes detailing the previous clots, I think it is disgraceful that the scan clinic turned them away first and told them to go to A&E and then the Triage nurse assessed her as "low risk" hence the 5 hours in A&E with a potentially fatal DVT!
Now that the wheeled one is on Wharferin she is a lot less likely to have another clot.
I'm ashamed to say that when dad said "near fatal" the first thought in my head was that dad's life would be so much easier without her. I don't mean that I wish her dead because I don't, I'm not that kind of person. I just feel sorry for the way my dad's life has gone, my mother died when I was 7 (although for many years I thought I was 5 when she died) then when I was 12 dad married the wheeled one (although she fully functional at the time) Big Bruv and I have never really liked her, it's not a "you can't replace our mother" kind of thing it's just because she's not very likeable.
Anyway I never really feel comfortable talking about my real mum ( I might post more on this another time)so I'm out of here.

PartII
As it's been a few weeks since I made the post below the impetus for continuing a summary of my family has gone. All I will say now is that they are the least caring grandparents I have ever known, they show very little interest in our kids, they don't always buy them things for birthdayts etc (when they do, we have to tell them something specific and where they can buy it and the price!) but if you listen to them talking you'd think they are the best!. The immense generosity of my in-laws just serves to highlight the failings of my own family.
You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.

"they're creepy and they're kooky". part I.
Due to it being Fathers day yesterday I had to go and visit my dysfunctional family (they took the fun out of dysfunctional) I took the boys with me but Wifey stayed at home to finish painting the kitchen ceiling (yes, even being 6 mths pregnant, she would rather get tired, painty and bored than visit my folks!)
My family;
Dad, in his 70's, had to give up smoking 60 a day in his 50's when he had a heart attack, took up drinking instead, he still "practises" drinking. Now spends his every waking moment looking after;-
Stepmother, in her 50's, fat, demanding, miserable, selfish. After Dad had his heart attack she "supported" him by going out all the time, critising, and generally letting him get on with wallowing in self pity and drink. Well what goes around comes around as they say and now the boot is well and truly on the other foot. She was struck down with multiple Sclerosis and now is wheelchair bound and unable to do anything for herself.

I'm not saying she shouldn't be miserable, if I was in her position I doubt if I'd be laughing and joking all the time, it's just that she makes my dad's life unnessacarily hard by critising him and telling him he's doing this and that wrong. He's been lifting her in and out of a wheelchair for about 13 yrs now, he knows what to do but he is not physically capable any more he is ,after all, an old man.
If this sounds a bit harsh, just try to remember, being disabled doesn't automatically make you a nice person.
Anyway, it's time to go home so I'll finish in partII soon.

Families deny Euro fans' violence
Here are some classic quotes from the BBC's website from the family's of some of the people arrested in Portugal.

"The mother of a 19-year-old archaeology and ancient history student arrested in Albufeira said he had tried to run away when trouble erupted outside a bar."

"They were sitting outside a pub, having a drink, and some trouble started a couple of tables away,"

"The mother of another Briton detained on Monday night said he was a "lovely lad".

"He must have been in the wrong place at the wrong time," she said. "I can't believe he would be a hooligan."

"A neighbour described him as a "most inoffensive young man" who did not have "an aggressive bone in his body".

and my favourite,
"really lovely lads" who had never given their parents, Michael and Mary, any trouble".

This is the funniest thing I've seen written by the BBC for years!!

I'm the King of the world
I typed "bloggocks" into google and this blog comes out on top. Fantastic!