Outwitted by a 6 year old!
Last night big'un had one of his friends over. After they had spent ages on the computer playing the Madagascar game it was time for me to take "N" home. Having never been to N's home before, I asked him his addresss "103 blankety blank drive" he replied. A quick check with wifey confirmed this to be correct.
Off I went with big'un and Little'un in tow aswell. For about the last 20 mins or so Big'un and N had been having a right laugh saying silly names and shouting things out, generally being silly and giggling. I ask N to tell me to stop when we reach his house,
"There it is, number 105" he says.
"I thought it was 103"
"no, it's 105"
"I'm sure you said it was 103" I say as I start to unstrap the kids outside No105. By this time I'm starting to doubt myself and I'm thinking was it 103 or 105. Anyway the decision was taken out of my hands. I let N and Big'un out of the car and told them to wait on the pavement while I was letting Little'un out, you know what kids are like they like to see their friends right into their own houses. N and Big'un ran up to No105 and started to ring the bell and shout their silly names through the letter box.
"what on earth is going on N?" says the man who answered the door,
"I've got the wrong house haven't I?" I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I turned to N and said
"I think you owe your next door neighbour and apology" to which he replied
"I didn't know"
"you don't know you own house?" I was now even more embarassed. Five minutes later after I had finished apologising I returned N to his own house.
" N played a bit of trick on me" I said to his parents "I've apologised to your neighbour"
Damn these clever six year old's and their fiendish tricks.

Internet Security.

A couple of weeks ago at college Big Ron gave us his guide to safer internet usage. If you shop or bank online there are some simple precautions you should take. So after reading a post on Gemmak's blog I have written it up and added some extra advice.

Big Ron's guide to Safer surfing (with extra bits added by Mick)

1. Always use a credit card not a debit card. A debit card is a way straight into your bank account, with a credit you are protected against internet fraud. If you have more than one credit card always use the same one for internet shopping. This makes it easier for you to spot any thing odd and makes it easier for the authorities to track if you are unlucky enough have any problems.
2. Make sure you have antivirus software installed and running. It's not enough to install your antivirus program and forget about it, you have to keep it updated with the latest virus definitions and you have to regularly run a scan on your system. If you shop or bank online you should run a scan at least once a week.
3. Make sure you have a firewall. The windows XP firewall is not enough!. Windows firewall will block attacks coming in but will not stop any info going out of your PC. If you use broadband you should get a router, typically these will have an in built firewall and a hardware firewall is generally better than a software one, (but have a software one aswell). Something else to do is to configure your firewall to block confidential information, I use Norton firewall and you can enter things that you would like blocked e.g account no's, credit card no's, names, addresses. When entering the info you want blocked don't enter the full card number for instance just half of it. This way you are not storing the full number.
4. Have at least 3 different anti-spyware programs installed, keep them up to date and run scans with them at least once a week. You can get Ad-aware, Spybot search & Destroy and the Beta of Microsoft's anti-spyware all for free. Use more than anti-spyware product as they all seem to find different things.
5. Keep Windows up-dated, make sure you have all the latest patches from Microsoft.
6. Never ever respond to or click on links in E-mails claiming to be from E-bay, Paypal, your bank or anything else you might be signed with that threaten you with account closure if you don't update your details. These are Phishing scams intended to trick you into entering confidential info on a fake website. Some of these mails are not as obvious as the threatening ones and can be a lot more subtle. For example last week I got a mail "from Ebay" inviting me to become a powerseller, all I had to do was "click here" to log in. This was to me an obvious fake because, I don't even near qualify to be a powerseller. Here's a good tip to spot the fakes. If you remember that the wording of the link is just text (e.g above where I have linked to gemmak it says "gemmak" and not the actual address of her blog) so anyone can type in https//ebay.co.uk/ login but the link will take you somewhere else (clink on the link to see). If you are using Outlook for your e-mail when you hover your mouse pointer over a link a tooltip should appear and this will reveal the actual web address (this may work in other mail applications , but as I don't use them I can't say). Remember a genuine mail from your bank or ebay or whatever will never ask for your passwords etc or issue you with threats if you don't update your details. To be safe don't click on links in e-mails, go to the site you want by typing it into your browser.
7. Don't save passwords or personal details on your computer. If you really can't remember them then just note cryptic reminders that no one esle would understand or know. Also don't allow windows to save your passwords.
8. visit www.grc.com and do their sheilds up! test. This scans your computer for open ports and gives you a rating. Anything less than 100% stealthed (all green) is not good enough. If you get less than this score you need a firewall.

Generally speaking shopping on the net is far safer than handing over your credit card to someone who then walks off to process it. Don't get too paranoid, unless you indulge in file sharing, P2P or porn in which case you can't be paranoid enough.

Stolen from Gemmaks' blog...

ABC's of me,

A. Ambiguous
B. British
C. Clever ( or so I like to think)
D. Doughnuts mmmmnnnn.....
E. Enthusiastic
F. Freaky
G. Geeky
H. Humorous
I. Impulsive (like just spending £500 on a tent when we've never been camping as a whole family)
J. Jolly
K. Knackered (permanently)
L. Long sighted
M. Mick
N. Naughty
O. Open minded
P. Philosophical
Q. Quidditch ( I love Harry Potter)
R. Realistic
S. Short
T. Terrible (at knowing what Wifey wants)
U. Unavailable
V. Vague
W. Wild
X. the company that I work for, that shall not be named.
Y. Yikes!
Z. ZZZzz.......

Get yer motor running,
head out on the highway,
looking for adventure,
or whatever comes my way.


The bike is back on the road, MOT'd , taxed, shiny, sexy and fast (a bit like me).
Ken can shove his Oyster card up his arse and I don't care what the hairy busker musically murders anymore 'cos I won't be there to hear it.
The only good thing about using the train for a month was that I was able to catch up on some studying.
So until the snow and ice arrive I'll be on two wheels enjoying the freedom of the road and avoiding myopic pillocks in cars.

I'm getting really fed up on the train now

• front brake seals - Done
• front brake pads - Done
• brake light switch -Done
• oil and filter change - Done
• Spark plugs - Done
• rear Chain sprocket - Done
• rear brake pads - seized beyond belief into the calipers and utterly impossible to be replaced (by me anyway)
• BUGGER!

So I'm currently stuffed as the bike won't pass the MOT without the brake pads being changed and I can't get the little buggers out. So I have asked a mechanic I know who does private jobs at home to look at it this weekend. I've still got the front sprocket and chain to do and hopefully I'll get these done tonight after work.

At least the Hairy Busker hasn't been around this week.

computer says no...
On Monday I phoned the local bike shop to find out if they had any brake seals (which I discovered I needed on Sunday)

Me: "have you got brake seals for a 2001 SV650s?"

Shop bloke:"I'll look it up on the computer *pause*, yes the computer says we have them"
me: "ta, I'll pop in later in the week"

So on tuesday before going to work I pop into the bike shop,

Me: "I phoned yesterday about some brake seals for a 2001 SV650s"

shop bloke1: *wiggles computer mouse, stares at blank screen, wiggles it again, stares at blank screen again, checks screen is turned on (it is), turns computer on* .2 mins later. "sorry we haven't got them"

me: "you had them yesterday"

shop bloke1: "computer says no.."

shop bloke2 appears:"we have got them I had them up on the screen yesterday"

shop bloke1: "computer says no.."

shop bloke 2:" add a 1 to the part numbers, they've been superceeded"

shop bloke1:"computer says yes we have them" *goes off for parts*

shop bloke1 returns and says "er what part number was it again?" he goes off and comes back with the parts.

me: " one of the packets is open and it looks like a seal is missing"

shop bloke1 goes off again, shop bloke 2 apologises, shop bloke1 comes back. job done.

me: "hang on a minute, I'm sure the front seals are the small ones and rear is bigger so I should have 2 lots of little and one lot of large,"

shopbloke2:" no that's right what we've got here"

me:"I'm sure it's the other way, I can picture it"

shopbloke2:"no, I trust what the computer say, I have faith in the Fiche"

me:" ok, I'll soon be able to tell, I'll bring them back if it's wrong"

shopbloke2: "let me just check, *checks*, actually you're right it should be the other way round, 2 small sets and 1 large set."

shopbloke1: goes off with 1 large set and returns empty handed "haven't got any more"

shopbloke2: "computer says we have four sets"

So the end result is I'm still waiting on brake seals, I haven't re-booked the MOT (which cancelled from last tuesday due to me needing brake seals) and I'm still on the train and still listening to the hairy busker.
This morning the Hairy Busker did a half decent job on the chorus part of Layla but then seemed to drift off into an obviously drug fuelled experimental vision of what the rest of the song should sound like.

searchin' searchin' for so long..
These are recent searches that have ended up here,

policeman's blogg

photos of ha ha rd woolwich

avoiding diesel spills

kljd

centre parc, elvedon forest,

lincoln ne naked pictures

centerparc elvedon

man shot in basildon

jumping traffic lights in essex a13

Ok, diesel spills, centre parcs and the A13 I can understand. Basildon has been mentioned and I ride down north woolwich rd every day but Im pretty sure this blog has never featured any one naked from Lincoln or any "kljd"

"what was that thump noise ..."
a few weeks ago Wifey remarked that the baby hadn't fallen off the bed yet and that by this age (14mths) the other two had either fallen off the bed or down the stairs.
So Wifey has been up casualty this morning after the little fella threw himself off the bed and bashed his head causing a cut above his eyebrow.
He is fine and they glued the cut and fortunately the visit to the hospital was fairly quick, unlike the 5 or 6 hour marathons that we have had in the past.

comments are working fine now.

No Comment!
My comments are not working properly again, I have posted a request for help in the forum at enetation and hopefully they will get it sorted promptly. In the meantime you my find it works if you make you comment twice.
P.S I notice from Gemmaks site that Haloscan comments are down aswell, coincidence? or conspiracy?
I'm off to check the haloscan comments on never mind the network.

Incidently, today is my birthday. I am now 41.

Serial killer at large on the underground.
this morning another brutal murder was committed at Canary Wharf jubilee line station. The victim, believed to be the Who's Substitute, was battered to death with a guitar. The killer is thought to be the same hirsute busker responsible for the recent attrocity carried out on Gerry Rafferty's Baker Street.

While I'm on the subject of the underground, I'm getting a bit fed up with being offered free things,
"would you like a copy of the Metro?"
"no thank you"
"would you like a copy of City AM?"
"NO"
"would you like a flyer for some shit you're not interested in?"
"AAAARRRRGGGHH"

This is a belated post that I've had as a draft for 2 weeks, but I thought what the heck if I post this it'll save me thinking of anything new!

On Sunday 9th I took Big'un and group of his school friends bowling as a belated birthday party. So I had seven 6 and 7 yr old boys, one 5 yr old girl (someone's sister) and one 3 yr old boy (little'un). I had back up from Wifey and two other mums, they were in charge of talking whilst I coached the bowling. Actually it wasn't much like bowling, more like watching a rerun of the Dambusters the way the balls were bouncing down the lanes.
When it came to the end I briefly mentioned who won and glossed over the fact that Big'un came last.

what's the damage guv? ...

Rear brake pads worn excessively,
Front brake caliper binding,
Brake lever switch not working,
"In my opinion the bike is unsafe to ride due to the Chain being excessively worn ".

"Bugger "

...was my response . I'm now faced with a least another week on the train while I try to get it Sorted. The plan is to do all the work myself and carry out the long overdue service at the Same time.
This may not be as easy as it sounds even though I'm on earlies when I get in at about 4. 30 the kids demand my attention and Wifey usually has something planned for me.

Whoaaa!!!
In an effort to further upset Gemmak by posting for the 3rd time in 3 days! Check this out for a close shave. It's nothing rude or gory and it looks real to me.

Murder on the Underground.....
... committed by the busker at Canary Wharf station. He was mullering one of my all time favourite songs, Gerry Rafferty's Baker Street.
There was a different busker on the way also playing another favourite of mine Pink Floyd's wish you were here. Although much better than the other guy I don't think Dave Gilmore will feel threatened.

Breaking news update flash.
Buzz came back to work last monday and on the tuesday he went sick again. This week he is supposed to be on a course (the one I volunteered him for that nobody wanted) and as far as I know he has gone. He's due back here on thursday. We shall see.

I finally got Big'uns fish tank set up (sans fish), he got this for his birthday at the start of Sept and the pressure is on to get the fish in on saturday as he is having some school chums round as a belated birthday party ( they're going bowling first). Hopefully some of the fish will survive long enough for his friends to see.

I've had to slum it on the train today. I went to renew my bike tax yesterday and found out that my MOT had expired last week. DOH! at least the pesky scooters won't be able to annoy me for a few days.

This weekend I......

• failed to do any work on the house.
• failed to do any of the drastically overdue maintenance on my bike.
• failed to watch the MotoGP.
• saw a strange lady's naked arse.

On sunday I took Big'un and Little'un swimming. At this particular pool they have what they term a "changing village" what this means is that instead of having a changing rooms, all the cubicles are out in the open at the poolside. Anyway as I was getting our stuff from the locker to go and get dried a very attractive young black women appeared from around the lockers holding a towel in front of her with one hand. As I looked at her I thought "she looks like she's naked", then she turned round. She was naked. I SAW HER ARSE!. Presumably so did a lot of other people.

When I got home I mentioned to Wifey that she should take heed as strange ladies are resorting to blatant arse flashing in an attempt to steal her man. She said "bothered"

The following completely unfair and harsh rant has been cancelled.
I was going to rant about being held up on the way in this morning by approximately 1million London Taxis on their annual sick kids charity run, but since getting to work and being plied with tea I have calmed down a bit and the rant I was going write now seems a bit harsh. I still hate Taxi drivers though. Black cabs are the motorcyclists nemesis, they are Moriarty to my Holmes, they are Sauron to my Gandalf, they are Vader to my Obi Wan, they are Swiper the fox to my Dora the explorer. They are the sworn enemy of all honest dependable law abiding two wheeled citizens.

"guess who I had in the back off my cab the other day?"
" I don't care, piss off"

The Taxis carrying the sick kids are currently surrounding Canary Wharf and outside my building they now have a band playing

*imagines walking over to the window, opening it and shouting out "Oi turn that fucking racket down, I'm trying to blog up here!" *

What I will rant about though is scooters, but that will have to wait as I have a mountain of work piling up.

Breadwinner
After a break of over seven years Wifey starts a new job today!
Wifey is a child care professional a.k.a nusery nurse and has got a job working part time in an private nursery ina local hospital.
This may seem like a busmans holiday. Instead of being at home looking after your own kids going out and looking after someone else's kids, but the change of scenery, getting some adult conversation (she doesn't get much from me!) and just getting out of the house for something other than shopping will do her the power of good.
Hopefully this will help to halt the progress of the recognised medical condition D.W.S or Demented Wife Syndrome that she is slowly succumbing to.
The out-laws will be on duty at the beck and call of the baby and little'un.