This weekend I......

• failed to do any work on the house.
• failed to do any of the drastically overdue maintenance on my bike.
• failed to watch the MotoGP.
• saw a strange lady's naked arse.

On sunday I took Big'un and Little'un swimming. At this particular pool they have what they term a "changing village" what this means is that instead of having a changing rooms, all the cubicles are out in the open at the poolside. Anyway as I was getting our stuff from the locker to go and get dried a very attractive young black women appeared from around the lockers holding a towel in front of her with one hand. As I looked at her I thought "she looks like she's naked", then she turned round. She was naked. I SAW HER ARSE!. Presumably so did a lot of other people.

When I got home I mentioned to Wifey that she should take heed as strange ladies are resorting to blatant arse flashing in an attempt to steal her man. She said "bothered"

The following completely unfair and harsh rant has been cancelled.
I was going to rant about being held up on the way in this morning by approximately 1million London Taxis on their annual sick kids charity run, but since getting to work and being plied with tea I have calmed down a bit and the rant I was going write now seems a bit harsh. I still hate Taxi drivers though. Black cabs are the motorcyclists nemesis, they are Moriarty to my Holmes, they are Sauron to my Gandalf, they are Vader to my Obi Wan, they are Swiper the fox to my Dora the explorer. They are the sworn enemy of all honest dependable law abiding two wheeled citizens.

"guess who I had in the back off my cab the other day?"
" I don't care, piss off"

The Taxis carrying the sick kids are currently surrounding Canary Wharf and outside my building they now have a band playing

*imagines walking over to the window, opening it and shouting out "Oi turn that fucking racket down, I'm trying to blog up here!" *

What I will rant about though is scooters, but that will have to wait as I have a mountain of work piling up.

Breadwinner
After a break of over seven years Wifey starts a new job today!
Wifey is a child care professional a.k.a nusery nurse and has got a job working part time in an private nursery ina local hospital.
This may seem like a busmans holiday. Instead of being at home looking after your own kids going out and looking after someone else's kids, but the change of scenery, getting some adult conversation (she doesn't get much from me!) and just getting out of the house for something other than shopping will do her the power of good.
Hopefully this will help to halt the progress of the recognised medical condition D.W.S or Demented Wife Syndrome that she is slowly succumbing to.
The out-laws will be on duty at the beck and call of the baby and little'un.

Sick Puppy IV: The Phantom Buzz.
Buzz Lightweight has gone sick again!, but I do have a bit of sympathy for him this time because;

1. He didn't get his wife to phone in for him, he did it himself this time
2. He is off sick because he fell off his bike!

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before but Buzz is a biker too. He has only been riding a year and only past his full test about 3 months ago.

Apparently on the way in on friday the traffic in front of him braked "suddenly" and he braked hard and fell off. He managed to avoid hitting anything else, which was good and he wasn't really hurt, which was also good. He has injured his ankle though and will be off for at least a week.

Other News:

I managed to avoid taking the Beast next door to see Herbie: Fully loaded. I took him to see "The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3D" instead, as expected he was a right pain and I honestly don't think Big'un actually likes him that much.

The film was ok, Sharkboy (moody looks and kung fu moves) and Lavagirl (cheesy grin, permanently windswept hair and squirty lava) was an action packed film about hanging on to your dreams and living them out with a typically american cheesy ending.

I've finished Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.

TTFN

I swore I would never do this again....
but in a fit of Irish/Catholic guilt Wifey has volunteered me to take the Beast from next door to the pictures tomorrow to see Herbie: Fully Loaded because he won't be going to Big'uns birthday bowling party (schoolfriends only) and Big'un went to the Beasts party.

Silly tankers.
Ok I'll admit it, I got caught up in the fever induced by yesterdays reports of panic buying, queues all over the land and the powers to be sitting in their ivory towers shouting "let them eat cake".
Yes, I panicked I rushed out to my local Tesco petrol and filled up with some bread and sausages. Well how was I to know it was only petrol? I was in a panic for chrissakes.

Tempus Fugit

"the baby" is one today !
Gone is the little new born who just gurgled and looked cute and in his place is a high speed crawling menace with a passion for tipping the bin over and putting his hands down the toilet.

One of his favorite tricks is to hang on to the bottom stair gate, thus preventing anyone coming down the stairs from being able to open the gate which means you have call out

" Help the baby is holding me hostage again ! "

Ketchup
Holiday week 1:
The plan was to do some work around the house whilst relieving wifey of some of the pressures of looking after 3 children. Due to the Beast next door's house having an extension built my plan of painting the outside of our house had to be scrapped as the building work was creating a lot of dust. So week 1 was spent basically doing nothing. (there is a large rant brewing about the building work and the Beast)

Holiday week 2: Center Parcs, Elvedon forest.

Fantastic week had by all, this was the second Center Parc's holiday that we have been on. we spent the week (5 days actually) swimming and playing games and having fun. Due to big'uns birthday being shortly after we were due back we decided to give him his main pressie, a bike, before we went. This is because the main method of transport in Center Parcs is cycling, he had two attempts at riding the new bike, both ended in tears and he hasn'r ridden it since. Little'un inherited the old bike with stabilisers but showed no interest whatsoever in wanting to ride it.
On the last day, friday, one of Big'uns best friends from school arrived for the weekend at Elvedon and we spent the day with them.

Sunday September 4th: big'uns 7th birthday.

We drove to the Isle of Dogs, walked through the foot tunnel under the Thames to Greenwich, got a cruise boat to Westminster and took a "flight" on the London Eye. The weather was hot and the sky was clear and blue, we could not have asked for a better day to do the Eye.

Big'un had a good day and enjoyed the eye, Little'un was ok but is definitely turning into a moody teenager, 3 going on 13. (a job for supernanny methinks ..... mmnnn supernanny....mmnnn)

Anyway, work to do, more later.