Bluurrgghh!!


This post is dedicated to Gemmak to reinforce her choice not to have kids and to NML, whose Mum is desperate for NML to produce some grandchildren, as a warning.

Tuesday evening I got home from work at about six o'clock to find Big'un sitting on one sofa watching the Simpsons and Little'un lying on the other sofa with his head on a pillow. Wifey tells me that Little'un didn't eat much dinner and said he wanted lie down as he was tired.
Two minutes later big'un says "Daddy look" and points at Little'un being sick on the sofa. I grab Little'un, sit him up and shout to Big'un to bring me some kitchen roll. Little'un brings up a huge amount of sick which I skillfully manage to catch on a cushion ( I swear he must be like Dr Who's Tardis, bigger on the inside as he produced so much vomit) anyway Big'un returns. With one sheet of kitchen roll. Great. "GET ME SOME MORE" I scream at him while trying to prevent sick from running down the back of the sofa with my hand, he brings another two sheets and says "I'll get you some more if you need it!
Wifey had taken the Baby up for a bath, so I escorted Little'un up for a bath aswell, it wasn't until I started to clean up properly that the full horror of the situation became clear.
We have Leather sofas, we bought these deliberately as leather is easy to clean. When you lift the seat cushions off however the base and sides of the sofas are just thin material. Little'un had managed to sick the mother lode down the side of the sofa where it had run into the base.
It took me 2 hours to clean up and I had to up-end the sofa and cut open the underneath to clean out the sick.
In the meantime Wifey had bathed all 3 kids and put them all to bed. As Wifey had a friend visiting the next day we still had to tidy up, wash the floor , hoover etc, you know do all the things you only do when people are visiting. The baby woke and Wifey tried to get him back to sleep while I did the housework. At 9:30 I went out for some chips (the only cure when in times of stress) and then managed to watch Jonathan Ross' Asian Invasion on BBC4 (it was fantastic, all about extreme Japanese films, make sure you check it out next week as it's about Hong Kong cinema)
I retired to bed at 11:00 very tired. At approx 05:30 I was woken by the sound of Little'un traipsing in to our room, where he announced,
"my trousers are wet"
AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!.