...and so this is christmas....
Merry Christmas and a Happy new year, I might try and post a bit more frequently after the break. But I wouldn't bet on it.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Woggles away!
Big'un has been a Cub scout for a couple of months, he goes with the beast next door and this weekend they have gone to cup camp for two nights. My Big boy is staying away from home for the first time at somewhere other than his nana's.
He has been alright about it, Wifey has been alright about it, I have been shitting myself. He'll be well looked after and I'm sure it will be a fantastic adventure but I'm still worried for him.
Big'un has been a Cub scout for a couple of months, he goes with the beast next door and this weekend they have gone to cup camp for two nights. My Big boy is staying away from home for the first time at somewhere other than his nana's.
He has been alright about it, Wifey has been alright about it, I have been shitting myself. He'll be well looked after and I'm sure it will be a fantastic adventure but I'm still worried for him.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Stay on course
I'm off on a course next week for three days at our very nice training place near Reading for possibly the last time as it appears "the company" is pulling out of there and relocating the training dept to somewhere else (ie less expensive) in the middle of next year. Which is right shame.
Pussy Galore
The cat has now not only got his paws under the table, he has been and got his pipe and slippers.
Tech-Fu.
After reading a post on Alan's blog about Technorati rankings I discovered a blog called Shaolin Tiger which has Kung Fu and geekery so it's right up my street and therefore has been added to the list.
I'm off on a course next week for three days at our very nice training place near Reading for possibly the last time as it appears "the company" is pulling out of there and relocating the training dept to somewhere else (ie less expensive) in the middle of next year. Which is right shame.
Pussy Galore
The cat has now not only got his paws under the table, he has been and got his pipe and slippers.
Tech-Fu.
After reading a post on Alan's blog about Technorati rankings I discovered a blog called Shaolin Tiger which has Kung Fu and geekery so it's right up my street and therefore has been added to the list.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Mrs Slocombe.
Wifey is not known for her love of animals, in fact she is pretty much terrified of anything with fur. Lately she has become a tad braver, so much so in fact that we have almost kind of unofficially adopted a stray cat.
Over the summer there has been a ginger moggy hanging about our garden. Cats normally prompt a loud "gertcha" from me as I don't like the little parcels they leave behind and I'm not really a cat person. This cat however has been pretty persistent and whenever Wifey went to hang out the washing she would have to make sure the coast was clear as the cat would come and try to befriend her and she was having none of it.
Wifey started to feel a bit sorry for it and, convinced that it was a starving stray, she started to leave tinned tuna and a bowl of milk out for it.
We eventually discovered that the beast next doors mum had been feeding it and taking it in and so had the woman next to her, Rosie Raspberry. This cat is going to end up looking like Garfield.
Rosie Raspberry thinks that the cat belonged to a house nearer the end of the street where the owner died leaving the cat homeless.
The cat, known as Puss Puss by us and as Tilly by the beast next door (I don't believe he reads gemmaks blog so it must just be a coincidence) has melted Wifey's stoney heart.
She now buys cat food regularly, strokes it, opens the back door and invites it in the house although she is still scared of the thought that it might jump on her lap.
Whenever I see Wifey stroking the cat I do the born free music and makes comments about her constantly touching her ginger pussy. This is probably wearing a bit thin now in Wifey's eyes.
On Sunday Wifey had taken little'un to a party and I was out the back scraping a "present" off the sole of my boots, Puss Puss was lounging in the hallway by the front room. Big'un calls out for me to remove the cat as he doesn't want it near the room in which he is playing (presumbly he didn't want the cat to mess up his toys, he gets very uptight when his little brothers do this)
"I'm busy scraping sh-, er, cleaning my boots" I replied
A few minutes later Big'un comes and shuts the back door and when I went back in, noticing Puss Puss was no where in sight, I concluded that he had gone out and Big'un shut the door to stop him coming back.
Later that night Wifey says "is the cat out?" " yes, I'm pretty sure he is" says I. Before we went to bed I toured the house clicking my fingers, calling out "puss puss" and making kissy noises to attract the cat just to make sure he wasn't hiding. You can see where this is going can't you.
At around 02:30 I am awoken by Wifey leaping out of her skin "the friggin cat's in our bedroom!". I let the cat out for a comfort break and he didn't return.
Not only is Wifey regularly buying cat food she has also now bought a litter tray in case he has anymore sleepovers!
Wifey is not known for her love of animals, in fact she is pretty much terrified of anything with fur. Lately she has become a tad braver, so much so in fact that we have almost kind of unofficially adopted a stray cat.
Over the summer there has been a ginger moggy hanging about our garden. Cats normally prompt a loud "gertcha" from me as I don't like the little parcels they leave behind and I'm not really a cat person. This cat however has been pretty persistent and whenever Wifey went to hang out the washing she would have to make sure the coast was clear as the cat would come and try to befriend her and she was having none of it.
Wifey started to feel a bit sorry for it and, convinced that it was a starving stray, she started to leave tinned tuna and a bowl of milk out for it.
We eventually discovered that the beast next doors mum had been feeding it and taking it in and so had the woman next to her, Rosie Raspberry. This cat is going to end up looking like Garfield.
Rosie Raspberry thinks that the cat belonged to a house nearer the end of the street where the owner died leaving the cat homeless.
The cat, known as Puss Puss by us and as Tilly by the beast next door (I don't believe he reads gemmaks blog so it must just be a coincidence) has melted Wifey's stoney heart.
She now buys cat food regularly, strokes it, opens the back door and invites it in the house although she is still scared of the thought that it might jump on her lap.
Whenever I see Wifey stroking the cat I do the born free music and makes comments about her constantly touching her ginger pussy. This is probably wearing a bit thin now in Wifey's eyes.
On Sunday Wifey had taken little'un to a party and I was out the back scraping a "present" off the sole of my boots, Puss Puss was lounging in the hallway by the front room. Big'un calls out for me to remove the cat as he doesn't want it near the room in which he is playing (presumbly he didn't want the cat to mess up his toys, he gets very uptight when his little brothers do this)
"I'm busy scraping sh-, er, cleaning my boots" I replied
A few minutes later Big'un comes and shuts the back door and when I went back in, noticing Puss Puss was no where in sight, I concluded that he had gone out and Big'un shut the door to stop him coming back.
Later that night Wifey says "is the cat out?" " yes, I'm pretty sure he is" says I. Before we went to bed I toured the house clicking my fingers, calling out "puss puss" and making kissy noises to attract the cat just to make sure he wasn't hiding. You can see where this is going can't you.
At around 02:30 I am awoken by Wifey leaping out of her skin "the friggin cat's in our bedroom!". I let the cat out for a comfort break and he didn't return.
Not only is Wifey regularly buying cat food she has also now bought a litter tray in case he has anymore sleepovers!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Let the train be a pain
well it's MOT time again for the bike and after the debacle last year I decided to let my man service it and pre-mot it rather than trying to save money and do it all myself which last year resulted in the bike being off the road for nearly two months and cost far more in train fares than I ever would have saved by not paying someone else to do the work.
Because I am terminally disorganised I didn't arrange for the man to do my bike until after the MOT expired so I have been on the train for a week which hasn't been that bad. There have been no confirmed sightings of the hairy busker from last year, in fact I haven't seen any buskers which has been a pleasant relief for my ears.
The bike has now been done and hopefully will be MOT'd on friday morning just in time for the mild weather to be replaced by sleet and ice!
well it's MOT time again for the bike and after the debacle last year I decided to let my man service it and pre-mot it rather than trying to save money and do it all myself which last year resulted in the bike being off the road for nearly two months and cost far more in train fares than I ever would have saved by not paying someone else to do the work.
Because I am terminally disorganised I didn't arrange for the man to do my bike until after the MOT expired so I have been on the train for a week which hasn't been that bad. There have been no confirmed sightings of the hairy busker from last year, in fact I haven't seen any buskers which has been a pleasant relief for my ears.
The bike has now been done and hopefully will be MOT'd on friday morning just in time for the mild weather to be replaced by sleet and ice!
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
Well, it took longer than I thought..
...for Wifey to be called over to see Little'uns teacher. After only three weeks at school, on Friday Wifey was told by Miss Teacher that Little'un had been asked to draw a picture of himself but instead he scribbled all over the cover of his exercise book and then was not allowed out at play time. At his preschool Little'un was the king of the "time outs". Big'un would be absolutely mortified if he got told off and the teacher told his mum.
Last week the baby started saying "whatever" to Wifey. Where did I go wrong?, we are becoming like a family from a TV documentary, "Britain worst chav-asbo-scummer families". We spent the weekend trying to "re-educate" Little'un by telling him that Father Christmas is watching and making out his lists.
I was pretty good at school, I only ever had one detention which was for setting light to another pupils tie in the smokers corner.I thought this was a bit harsh. I mean it wasn't like he was wearing it.
...for Wifey to be called over to see Little'uns teacher. After only three weeks at school, on Friday Wifey was told by Miss Teacher that Little'un had been asked to draw a picture of himself but instead he scribbled all over the cover of his exercise book and then was not allowed out at play time. At his preschool Little'un was the king of the "time outs". Big'un would be absolutely mortified if he got told off and the teacher told his mum.
Last week the baby started saying "whatever" to Wifey. Where did I go wrong?, we are becoming like a family from a TV documentary, "Britain worst chav-asbo-scummer families". We spent the weekend trying to "re-educate" Little'un by telling him that Father Christmas is watching and making out his lists.
I was pretty good at school, I only ever had one detention which was for setting light to another pupils tie in the smokers corner.I thought this was a bit harsh. I mean it wasn't like he was wearing it.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Global Village
Well it's a small world, last week I got an e-mail with the subject "greetings from Singapore" it was from a friend of mine, Mark who I used to train in Lau Gar Kung Fu with. I haven't seen or heard from him for years and I'm so glad he contacted me.
In the mid 80's, in my early 20's, after a brief dabble with a couple of different styles of Karate I started practising Kung Fu . I soon became friendly with a few people and a few of us began going for a beer or three after training. We tried a few different pubs around Romford but eventually settled on the Dolphin leisure centre bar as our regular watering hole, mainly because there was an aerobics class right outside the bar.
A few different people came along here and there for a drink but mainly it was myself, Mark and a guy named Bryon. As I said I was in my early 20's, Bryon was around late thirties and Mark was 15!, Bryon and I were always proud of the fact that we were partly responsible for Mark's moral corruption!
As the years went on we became good friends and the going for a beer after training often became more important than the Kung Fu i.e I wouldn't go training but I'd just turn up for a beer.
Bryon was married and had a daughter and he was a bit off a lad to say the least, we always had a good laugh and the three of us would often go along to other martial arts clubs to see see other styles and mainly take the piss a lot.
I remember visiting an Aikido class, Mark and I watched and Bryon joined in. Although Aikido was impressive all the students seemed to have this ability to throw themselves very dramatically across the room when the instructor demonstrated something, Bryon volunteered for a demo and didn't play ball at all in fact he went out of his way to frustrate the instructor by acting like a sack of potatoes.
Over the years various things happened, Bryon split from his wife and found himself living with a postwomen in southend, Mark went to Hong Kong to train in kung fu and maybe get a part in a film. While in Hong Kong Mark met a chinese girl and fell in love, he returned to the UK for a while, learned cantonese and then went back to Hong kong.
We are now in the mid 90's, Mark is still in Hong Kong, married ( they had a traditional chinese wedding in HK and came here for a church blessing/ wedding at which Bryon was best man) and I think by this time either expecting or just a had a little boy. I met Wifey and fell in love.
In 1997, the chinese were to retake control of Hong Kong from the british and it was a very uncertain time in Hong Kong, Mark returned to the UK with his family to wait and see what would happen.
I got married, Mark returned to HK (as nothing much happened there when the chinese took over), Bryon and the postwomen were trying to have a baby and not succeeding.
I lost contact with Mark and no longer saw much of Bryon and gave up the Kung Fu, around 2001 I got an email from Bryon saying that the postwomen had left him to go and get pregnant by any means possible.
Early 2002 (april I think) I got a phone call from the postwomen saying that Bryon was very ill in hospital, she also said she was married and heavily preggers. I went to Southend hospital to see Bryon and I was shocked, the fit healthy bloke I knew had been replaced by a shambling man who looked years older than I remembered. On seeing him it was obvious what was happening but no one had actually told him, officially what was wrong with him. The postwomen +bump was sitting there with him and when I entered his face brightened and he said "hello mate" and got up to to meet me. I struggled to hide my shock as the shadow of the man shambled across.
Bryon was the type of man who'd find humour in anything, during his time in hosipital a lady came and sat on his bed, which would always perk him up, and started chatting she said she was a MacMillan nurse to which Bryon replied
"Ok?"
she said "you do know what a MacMillan nurse is, don't you?"
"er, no"
"oh" she says "a Mac Millan nurse is someone who comes and gives support to people who have been diagnosed with cancer"
"righto" says Bryon "I'll bear that in mind"
"what do you mean you'll bear it mind?" asks the nurse rather confused
"well, no one has told me I've got cancer" Bryon replied.
A panicked look overtook the nurse's face and she rushed off muttering something about getting a doctor!
I wasn't able to go and see Bryon the next weekend The following week Wifey gave birth to Little'un and two days later Bryon died. One in, one out.
And that's about it, there are various other people and stories I could have included but it's taken me a week to write this post and I'd never finish it.
I've had contact from Bryon's wife and daughter who both found this blog whilst thinking of Bryon and searching the web for Lau Gar Kung Fu and this was how Mark found me aswell.
Hopefully Mark will be over in February and we can get together, there may be some beer involved.
Well it's a small world, last week I got an e-mail with the subject "greetings from Singapore" it was from a friend of mine, Mark who I used to train in Lau Gar Kung Fu with. I haven't seen or heard from him for years and I'm so glad he contacted me.
In the mid 80's, in my early 20's, after a brief dabble with a couple of different styles of Karate I started practising Kung Fu . I soon became friendly with a few people and a few of us began going for a beer or three after training. We tried a few different pubs around Romford but eventually settled on the Dolphin leisure centre bar as our regular watering hole, mainly because there was an aerobics class right outside the bar.
A few different people came along here and there for a drink but mainly it was myself, Mark and a guy named Bryon. As I said I was in my early 20's, Bryon was around late thirties and Mark was 15!, Bryon and I were always proud of the fact that we were partly responsible for Mark's moral corruption!
As the years went on we became good friends and the going for a beer after training often became more important than the Kung Fu i.e I wouldn't go training but I'd just turn up for a beer.
Bryon was married and had a daughter and he was a bit off a lad to say the least, we always had a good laugh and the three of us would often go along to other martial arts clubs to see see other styles and mainly take the piss a lot.
I remember visiting an Aikido class, Mark and I watched and Bryon joined in. Although Aikido was impressive all the students seemed to have this ability to throw themselves very dramatically across the room when the instructor demonstrated something, Bryon volunteered for a demo and didn't play ball at all in fact he went out of his way to frustrate the instructor by acting like a sack of potatoes.
Over the years various things happened, Bryon split from his wife and found himself living with a postwomen in southend, Mark went to Hong Kong to train in kung fu and maybe get a part in a film. While in Hong Kong Mark met a chinese girl and fell in love, he returned to the UK for a while, learned cantonese and then went back to Hong kong.
We are now in the mid 90's, Mark is still in Hong Kong, married ( they had a traditional chinese wedding in HK and came here for a church blessing/ wedding at which Bryon was best man) and I think by this time either expecting or just a had a little boy. I met Wifey and fell in love.
In 1997, the chinese were to retake control of Hong Kong from the british and it was a very uncertain time in Hong Kong, Mark returned to the UK with his family to wait and see what would happen.
I got married, Mark returned to HK (as nothing much happened there when the chinese took over), Bryon and the postwomen were trying to have a baby and not succeeding.
I lost contact with Mark and no longer saw much of Bryon and gave up the Kung Fu, around 2001 I got an email from Bryon saying that the postwomen had left him to go and get pregnant by any means possible.
Early 2002 (april I think) I got a phone call from the postwomen saying that Bryon was very ill in hospital, she also said she was married and heavily preggers. I went to Southend hospital to see Bryon and I was shocked, the fit healthy bloke I knew had been replaced by a shambling man who looked years older than I remembered. On seeing him it was obvious what was happening but no one had actually told him, officially what was wrong with him. The postwomen +bump was sitting there with him and when I entered his face brightened and he said "hello mate" and got up to to meet me. I struggled to hide my shock as the shadow of the man shambled across.
Bryon was the type of man who'd find humour in anything, during his time in hosipital a lady came and sat on his bed, which would always perk him up, and started chatting she said she was a MacMillan nurse to which Bryon replied
"Ok?"
she said "you do know what a MacMillan nurse is, don't you?"
"er, no"
"oh" she says "a Mac Millan nurse is someone who comes and gives support to people who have been diagnosed with cancer"
"righto" says Bryon "I'll bear that in mind"
"what do you mean you'll bear it mind?" asks the nurse rather confused
"well, no one has told me I've got cancer" Bryon replied.
A panicked look overtook the nurse's face and she rushed off muttering something about getting a doctor!
I wasn't able to go and see Bryon the next weekend The following week Wifey gave birth to Little'un and two days later Bryon died. One in, one out.
And that's about it, there are various other people and stories I could have included but it's taken me a week to write this post and I'd never finish it.
I've had contact from Bryon's wife and daughter who both found this blog whilst thinking of Bryon and searching the web for Lau Gar Kung Fu and this was how Mark found me aswell.
Hopefully Mark will be over in February and we can get together, there may be some beer involved.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Tempus Fugit (still)
well it doesn't seem that long ago that I posted about Wifey being pregnant, and then about the baby being born and now, all of a sudden, he's two.
The Baby is two today so I suppose he's not a baby anymore (even though we usually call him bubba) so really I should think of a better nom de voyage for him. It was easy with just 2 kids, Big'un and Little'un but I really don't want to start referring to Little'un as middle'un.
This September is a special one as not only was Big'un 8 on the 4th and the Baby 2 today (13th) but Little'un starts school next week and boy are they going to be in for a surprise if they think he is going to be anything like his elder brother.
well it doesn't seem that long ago that I posted about Wifey being pregnant, and then about the baby being born and now, all of a sudden, he's two.
The Baby is two today so I suppose he's not a baby anymore (even though we usually call him bubba) so really I should think of a better nom de voyage for him. It was easy with just 2 kids, Big'un and Little'un but I really don't want to start referring to Little'un as middle'un.
This September is a special one as not only was Big'un 8 on the 4th and the Baby 2 today (13th) but Little'un starts school next week and boy are they going to be in for a surprise if they think he is going to be anything like his elder brother.
Artists impression of little'uns first day of school.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Were all DOOMED! (unless you ride a pushbike)
I'm sure you've seen them, the one where the bike gets hit by the invisible cars, the one where the bloke gets to think about the legs he'll never use again after some cage driving twat opens his car door in front of the bike and the musical "you go way too fa-a-ast, don't slow you're gonna cra-a-ash" SPLAT. The Transport for London sponsered ads allegedly aimed at making motorcycling safer. These ads enrage me beyond belief. I have lost count of how many times I have seen these ads whilst watching telly with my extremely anti-bike wife, every time I cringe and she gives me the "I-hate-your-bike-and-everything-about-it-I-wish-you-would-give-it-up-before-you-make-me-a-widow-and-your-kids-fatherless" look. There is another bike ad where a bloke on a Ducati goes for a pleasure ride and all along the route things pop up to warn him about potential hazards like a diesel spill and a tractor and he gets home safely after enjoying his ride. I've seen that ad once.
TfL also do equally disturbing and gory ads about drink driving, speeding and teenagers crossing the road which all feature someone dying grusomely.
New to our screens now is the cyclist ad, TfL loves cyclists almost as much as they love people who buy Oyster cards. What does the new ad feature? a cyclist mangled under a bus? , no, a cyclist navigating along a cycle lane that is wedged in between a bus lane and a busy four carriageway road with buses and lorries hurtling by?, no, a cyclist getting beeped at and bullied by motorists who are being held up by a second or two at traffic lights?, no, none of these.
What it features are loads of people saying how much they love riding their pushbike and footage of people cycling on empty roads in warm weather having a lovely time. Great, good for them, if only this was true but it's not is it? anyone who has ridden a pushbike in a busy town during rushhour will know that this is extremely unrealistic, in fact it just as unrealistic as the view that all motorcyclists are doomed to a gruesome death which is "promoted" by the biker ads.
Isn't it funny how TfL promote cycling and public transport (no mention of fires, crashes, delays and bombs in the Oyster ads) and lead you to believe that death is tailing you if you should dare to do something they don't want, like riding a motorbike or driving a car. Instead of showing gory deaths, how about promoting safer riding and driving, how about showing people ways to avoid the situations that could result in a gruesome death, how about showing ads teaching driving / riding skills. Did you know that there is a Police force sponsored nationwide initiative called Bikesafe ? I bet you didn't. Showing riders dying isn't going to save lives, teaching safer riding is.
So any bikers reading this should go and read this before their next ride, it might save your life.
On a final note here's a song for TfL and Ken Livingstone and the government;
"you've gone way too fa-a-ar, don't stop now you're gonna get battered by loads of irate voting bi -i-kers"
Ride safe, drive safe, walk safe. You know it makes sense.
I'm sure you've seen them, the one where the bike gets hit by the invisible cars, the one where the bloke gets to think about the legs he'll never use again after some cage driving twat opens his car door in front of the bike and the musical "you go way too fa-a-ast, don't slow you're gonna cra-a-ash" SPLAT. The Transport for London sponsered ads allegedly aimed at making motorcycling safer. These ads enrage me beyond belief. I have lost count of how many times I have seen these ads whilst watching telly with my extremely anti-bike wife, every time I cringe and she gives me the "I-hate-your-bike-and-everything-about-it-I-wish-you-would-give-it-up-before-you-make-me-a-widow-and-your-kids-fatherless" look. There is another bike ad where a bloke on a Ducati goes for a pleasure ride and all along the route things pop up to warn him about potential hazards like a diesel spill and a tractor and he gets home safely after enjoying his ride. I've seen that ad once.
TfL also do equally disturbing and gory ads about drink driving, speeding and teenagers crossing the road which all feature someone dying grusomely.
New to our screens now is the cyclist ad, TfL loves cyclists almost as much as they love people who buy Oyster cards. What does the new ad feature? a cyclist mangled under a bus? , no, a cyclist navigating along a cycle lane that is wedged in between a bus lane and a busy four carriageway road with buses and lorries hurtling by?, no, a cyclist getting beeped at and bullied by motorists who are being held up by a second or two at traffic lights?, no, none of these.
What it features are loads of people saying how much they love riding their pushbike and footage of people cycling on empty roads in warm weather having a lovely time. Great, good for them, if only this was true but it's not is it? anyone who has ridden a pushbike in a busy town during rushhour will know that this is extremely unrealistic, in fact it just as unrealistic as the view that all motorcyclists are doomed to a gruesome death which is "promoted" by the biker ads.
Isn't it funny how TfL promote cycling and public transport (no mention of fires, crashes, delays and bombs in the Oyster ads) and lead you to believe that death is tailing you if you should dare to do something they don't want, like riding a motorbike or driving a car. Instead of showing gory deaths, how about promoting safer riding and driving, how about showing people ways to avoid the situations that could result in a gruesome death, how about showing ads teaching driving / riding skills. Did you know that there is a Police force sponsored nationwide initiative called Bikesafe ? I bet you didn't. Showing riders dying isn't going to save lives, teaching safer riding is.
So any bikers reading this should go and read this before their next ride, it might save your life.
On a final note here's a song for TfL and Ken Livingstone and the government;
"you've gone way too fa-a-ar, don't stop now you're gonna get battered by loads of irate voting bi -i-kers"
Ride safe, drive safe, walk safe. You know it makes sense.
Friday, July 28, 2006
I am fed up.
I have been doing my IT course for 5 yrs, 5-bloody-years. I have been ambling along, going to college making notes and doing chuff all else. 5- long-bloody-years.
Today I have failed the microsoft network infrastructure exam for the second time and I am pissed off.
My fantastic tent that I bought at the outdoor show at Excel last year is too bloody big for most of the campsites in England.
Yesterday my nextdoor neighbour tried to repair his side of our shared porch and nearly pulled the whole thing down. It is now hanging away from the house awaiting emergency repair.
There is some good news though eng swap has happened Buzz Lighweight is out and Bazza is in Hurrah!
I have been doing my IT course for 5 yrs, 5-bloody-years. I have been ambling along, going to college making notes and doing chuff all else. 5- long-bloody-years.
Today I have failed the microsoft network infrastructure exam for the second time and I am pissed off.
My fantastic tent that I bought at the outdoor show at Excel last year is too bloody big for most of the campsites in England.
Yesterday my nextdoor neighbour tried to repair his side of our shared porch and nearly pulled the whole thing down. It is now hanging away from the house awaiting emergency repair.
There is some good news though eng swap has happened Buzz Lighweight is out and Bazza is in Hurrah!
Monday, May 22, 2006
Pause.
First of all, those crazy Finns eh! a heavy metal band from Finland, dressed in monster costumes singing a completly forgettable song won the eurovision vote-for-your-friends contest. Fantastic!
Secondly, I really want to get my I.T studies back on track and actually get some exams done. Microsoft is currently offering free retests until the end of July so in an effort to actually get my windows Network Infrastructure exam done I'm going to go for it. So this means I will not be blogging probably until the end of July so I can study instead of blog reading.
I may make occasional updates but I wouldn't count on it.
I also have a sister blog called never mind the network which I set up to help me make notes for my course I will be posting here with some geeky-techy-networky stuff.
Other news, by the time I start posting again Buzz Lightweight should have gone to another site in a case of Engineer swap.
This coming bank holiday weekend we are going camping for the first time in our new tent for 2 nights with the family we went to Florida with. 4 adults, 6 kids, 2 nights in Canterbury in the pissing rain.
The freakfest that is Big Brother has started again and in a Davina and the freak factory style there are a load of golden tickets hidden in kit Kat bars which will give a chance of getting into the house, so here is something to ponder...
If you found a golden ticket and got into the BB house what would you do to avoid eviction and entertain the TV viewers? ....
See you later....
First of all, those crazy Finns eh! a heavy metal band from Finland, dressed in monster costumes singing a completly forgettable song won the eurovision vote-for-your-friends contest. Fantastic!
Secondly, I really want to get my I.T studies back on track and actually get some exams done. Microsoft is currently offering free retests until the end of July so in an effort to actually get my windows Network Infrastructure exam done I'm going to go for it. So this means I will not be blogging probably until the end of July so I can study instead of blog reading.
I may make occasional updates but I wouldn't count on it.
I also have a sister blog called never mind the network which I set up to help me make notes for my course I will be posting here with some geeky-techy-networky stuff.
Other news, by the time I start posting again Buzz Lightweight should have gone to another site in a case of Engineer swap.
This coming bank holiday weekend we are going camping for the first time in our new tent for 2 nights with the family we went to Florida with. 4 adults, 6 kids, 2 nights in Canterbury in the pissing rain.
The freakfest that is Big Brother has started again and in a Davina and the freak factory style there are a load of golden tickets hidden in kit Kat bars which will give a chance of getting into the house, so here is something to ponder...
If you found a golden ticket and got into the BB house what would you do to avoid eviction and entertain the TV viewers? ....
See you later....
Friday, May 12, 2006
No shit sherlock...
Two government enquiries into the London bombings last year have concluded that it was "likely" the bombers had "some form of operational training" and "had some contact with al-Qaeda figures".
Well done lads, pat yourselves on the back for that stunning insight.
For crying out loud anyone with half a brain could have said it was "likely" without having to prepare one report let alone two.
In another stunning revelation the reports state the fact the bombings weren't prevented due to lack of intelligence was "a blunder", break out the champers chaps you've excelled yourselves this time.
Two government enquiries into the London bombings last year have concluded that it was "likely" the bombers had "some form of operational training" and "had some contact with al-Qaeda figures".
Well done lads, pat yourselves on the back for that stunning insight.
For crying out loud anyone with half a brain could have said it was "likely" without having to prepare one report let alone two.
In another stunning revelation the reports state the fact the bombings weren't prevented due to lack of intelligence was "a blunder", break out the champers chaps you've excelled yourselves this time.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Happy Birthday!...
...to little'un who is 4 today. he is a bit confused about this and thinks he is already 4 because he had a little party on monday so he thinks that must have been his birthday.
I swapped shifts today so I could get home early but it might be a short day anyway as Wifey wasn't very well this morning. It is unusual for her to be ill so when Buzz Lightweight gets in at 08:30 I will probably be going home to pamper her which will probably result in her saying "piss off, you're getting on my nerves"
Things are afoot at the moment at work and there may be some moves and changes which will be for the better but it's all a bit up in the air at the moment so more on this later.
...to little'un who is 4 today. he is a bit confused about this and thinks he is already 4 because he had a little party on monday so he thinks that must have been his birthday.
I swapped shifts today so I could get home early but it might be a short day anyway as Wifey wasn't very well this morning. It is unusual for her to be ill so when Buzz Lightweight gets in at 08:30 I will probably be going home to pamper her which will probably result in her saying "piss off, you're getting on my nerves"
Things are afoot at the moment at work and there may be some moves and changes which will be for the better but it's all a bit up in the air at the moment so more on this later.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Why can't people just admit it when they've made a mistake.....
... instead of arguing the toss or coming up with some lame excuse.
Wednesday night on returning to my trusty steed I found that the entrance / exit to the bike parking area was blocked by a big BMW1150GS (which is a pretty big bike) equipped with a full set of panniers, it couldn't have taken up more room if it tried. At five o clock the bike park is still pretty solid and, due to the inconsiderate parking of some people, sometimes difficult to get out of.
As I walked to my bike thinking "what kind of twat parks like that?" I spotted a bloke walking towards me, tall square jawed with designer stubble and exactly that kind of twat look about him. When he reached the BMW I said
"are you going mate?"
"yeah"
"Ok, great, it just that you have blocked the entrance" he had a quick look around and said
"oh yeah? How do you determine that?"
" because that's where the pavement is lowered"
"what about over there" he said pointing at a space between bikes.
"that's just where someone has left" I replied getting a bit tetchy now
"and this is where the pavement is lowered, look"
he made a sort of hurumph noise and continued to sort himself out before riding off.
What would have so difficult in saying "oh sorry I've never parked here before and I didn't realise"
The last time this happened a bloke (on a scooter, spit) pulled up and parked in the entrance as I was unlocking my bike, when I pointed out the error of his ways he had a big rant at me and started blaming me for his bad day, saying that I was exaggerating about him "completely blocking the entrance" even though it was clear that an underweight piece of string would have had trouble getting out.
Both these blokes are typical of the overpaid chinless wonders who populate Canary Wharf who don't usually have two atoms of common sense to rub together.
... instead of arguing the toss or coming up with some lame excuse.
Wednesday night on returning to my trusty steed I found that the entrance / exit to the bike parking area was blocked by a big BMW1150GS (which is a pretty big bike) equipped with a full set of panniers, it couldn't have taken up more room if it tried. At five o clock the bike park is still pretty solid and, due to the inconsiderate parking of some people, sometimes difficult to get out of.
As I walked to my bike thinking "what kind of twat parks like that?" I spotted a bloke walking towards me, tall square jawed with designer stubble and exactly that kind of twat look about him. When he reached the BMW I said
"are you going mate?"
"yeah"
"Ok, great, it just that you have blocked the entrance" he had a quick look around and said
"oh yeah? How do you determine that?"
" because that's where the pavement is lowered"
"what about over there" he said pointing at a space between bikes.
"that's just where someone has left" I replied getting a bit tetchy now
"and this is where the pavement is lowered, look"
he made a sort of hurumph noise and continued to sort himself out before riding off.
What would have so difficult in saying "oh sorry I've never parked here before and I didn't realise"
The last time this happened a bloke (on a scooter, spit) pulled up and parked in the entrance as I was unlocking my bike, when I pointed out the error of his ways he had a big rant at me and started blaming me for his bad day, saying that I was exaggerating about him "completely blocking the entrance" even though it was clear that an underweight piece of string would have had trouble getting out.
Both these blokes are typical of the overpaid chinless wonders who populate Canary Wharf who don't usually have two atoms of common sense to rub together.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
It's a bit Mickey Mouse.
Disney's Magic Kingdom.
You may be tempted to hum the Addams Family theme when looking at this photo. Don't.
The boy at the front, in blue, is not one of ours.
So off we went to Florida with our friends G and D and their 3 boys. 4 adults, six kids (all boys). Chaos was inevitable.
This holiday has been planned for over a year and for the last 6 months or so D has been planning our itinery which we were happy to let her do as it saved us the bother. Now, in retrospect, we have realised that she is a bit of a control freak and it was more about her having control than it was about anything else. Anyway with the help of D's itinery there follows a brief summary of the holiday. The planning was done with the aid of the Brit's guide to Orlando which I can't recommend highly enough, if you're going to florida this book is a must.
Fri 31st March - Travelling.
We flew with British Airways, we were able to check in online before going ( I imagine that other airlines offer this aswell) this saved the usual queuing and arguing over seats palaver at the airport and comes highly recommended. The flight was fine, getting through Orlando airport was a bit of a trial though. It took 3 hours after we landed to actually get on our way, most of this was down to the car hire (most which was all pre-booked) but it takes a long time to get through security, passport control, collecting luggage and then handing it back again, collecting it once more, finger print scanning, anal probes, customs blah blah blah. after a long day we arrived at the villa.
Saturday - Disney's Animal Kingdom.
This was one of the places I was looking forward to as it was being built the last time I was in Florida (on honeymoon). Myself, Big'un, G and his eldest boy R did the new roller coaster, expedition everest. This was big'uns first proper roller coaster. He looked absolutely terrified all the way through. When we got off R started saying how excellent and cool the ride was so big'un started giving it the big one "yeah that was way cool, can we do it again, this is my favourite place". He didn't do any other coasters in the whole two weeks!
Sunday- Epcot.
As Big'un's pokemon obsession is still going strong when we told him that the Epcot centre world showcase had a Japan section he immediately said "will they sell Pokemon?" " I doubt it" I replied "it'll sell souveneirs and clothes and stuff like that" anyway you guessed it, the shop had a few bits of traditional Japanese stuff and the worlds supply of Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Power Rangers etc.
Mon- Blizzard beach water park and Disney MGM studios.
I love water parks and MGM is really good but we didn't spend a enough time in either.
Tues- We did an airboat ride.
Airboats are those flat things with a gi-normous fan on the back that you see on the telly hurtling around the eveglades in a very exciting fashion. The actual experience was somewhat underwhelming as we spent most of the time barely moving looking for 'gators (we didn't see any). I wouldn't recommend it.
In the afternoon we went to Seaworld. Seaworld now has a big fuck off roller coaster called Kraken. G and R and myself went off to do it but R was knocked back because he was a gnat's cock shorter that the height restriction. Ten minutes later, after a couple of park maps had been neatly folded and put into his shoes, we were in the queue. We got the front row, oh my god!
Wed - Kennedy space centre.
Me, Big'un, G and his two eldest boys went to Kennedy while the ladies and young'uns went shopping in Downtown Disney marketplace. Kennedy was good but the tour we did was a bit wasted on the boys.
Thurs - Universal Islands of Adventure.
Another park that was new to me and boy was it good. We started off with a character breakfast where we met Spiderman, Cat in the hat and thing 1 and thing 2. As Spiderman appeared at the side of Big'un he burst into tears, we thought spiderman had scared him a bit by sneaking up but it turned out Big'un had forgotten his autograph book and was upset that he wouldn't get Spidermans. We managed to calm him by suggesting that Spiderman signed a park map . The Suess Landing area was fantastic, constructed exactly like in Dr Seuss books. The Lost Continent island was incredible, with huge sculptures and architechure. We did a "ride" called "Poseidons Fury" which featured lots of noise and huge projections on to water, it was very loud, very scary, very wet, it was fantastic. It also scared the shite out of most of the kids.
For me the best part was Marvel super Hero island. I was in nerd heaven. We met characters from the X-men, Captain america, we did the spiderman 3d ride, they had a comic shop. I touched my inner nerd, and he was warm.
Fri - Universal studios.
Universal use the the timescales as London Underground / British Rail for calculating their queue times which are roughly one and a half times longer than stated.
Sat- Magic kingdom.
Summed up in one word. Packed. Absolutely-feckin-rammed. The biggest disappointment of the holiday for Wifey was that she didn't get to do the Small World ride. We did get Mickey Mouse's autograph though.
Sun- Shopping
We went went shopping while the others went to Discovery cove to Swim with dolphins.
Mon - Typhoon Lagoon and return to Universal.
Typhoon Lagoon is the other Disney water park which is themed like a desert island.
Tue- Left the villa to spend 3 nights in Clearwater Beach on th Florida's Gulf Coast visiting busch Gardens on the way.
At Busch Gardens I did the Shiekra coaster which features a 200ft vertical drop, which they hang you over and pause before letting you plummet towards certain death. Once again we had the front row, this was truly scary.
The idea of going to the beach for a few days was not ours, we are not beach people, in fact I can't imagine anything more boring than just lying on a beach while the sun damages your skin.
Anyway we just went with the flow and although it seemed a nice idea on paper the reality was a bit different. Clearwater Beach itself was a bit dissapointing and the Hotel was rank. The rooms smelt of B.O which came from the air con and the place itself was grotty. Next door to the hotel was a bar which had a sign outside proudly proclaiming "live music from 2pm to 2am" and didn't we know it!
It wasn't bad enough to spoil the holiday but I certainly wouldn't do the " few days on the coast" thing again, why go to the most magical place on earth only to spend time around a pool or on the beach. If you're thinking of going to Florida and want a few days of "theme park relief" then plan them throughout the holiday rather than in one go at the end.
Sat 15th April - arrived home needing a holiday.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Back in Blighty.
Oh well, back to the old grindstone. The holiday was fantastic, the kids had a great time and so did the adults.
On the return flight Wifey and I were witnesses to a mild air rage incident where a steward was accused of being rude by a man who was shouting at him. The steward had pointed out to the mans wife that she should use the toilets at the rear of the plane and not the ones in business class. We had to fill in a report because the incident happened right in front of us and the man insisted that it was taken further. The steward wasn't rude to the lady at all and when he directed her to the correct toilets she said "oh sor-ry" in a very sarcastic and childish manner. The man was a great big fat pig with a very aggressive manner.
It's funny (not) how quite often people who are in the wrong become aggressive and threatening when trying to get what they want. You get loads of examples of this if you watch Airline on telly, which is a fly on the wall series about Easyjet airline. The one incident that sticks in my mind was when a "businessman" and his wife were refused to fly because for some reason that was entirely his fault ( I think it might have been that they had a pet that hadn't been quarantined). The "businessman"went on to blame the airline, shout at them, argue and generally make a right prat of himself on national TV but what did it for me was when the easyjet person pointed out that were they to let him fly, the plane could be refused to land and sent back and he would be liable for the cost of the fuel, about £10,000.Too which he replied in a very matter of fact way "I'll pay that, no problem, I'll pay for for the fuel" as if he expected Easyjet to change their minds and say "der, yeah, okay". Easyjet is a cheap bargain bucket no frills airline if this man honestly expected anyone to believe that he had 10 grand just lying around why the fuck wasn't he traveling first class on British Airways.
Riding the SV along the A13 this morning, just pootling along in the middle lane minding my own business when a nob in a Volvo moves into my lane, without looking, without indicating and without caring about the fact that there happens to be a bloke on a motorbike (me) occupying the space he was about to enter. I beeped him and accelerated a bit to get in front, he looked out of his side window and began sticking his fingers up and swearing ( it's amazing what you can lip read) with a look of pure hatred on his face. What a pillock, he was completly in the wrong.
As I rode past I shook my head and gave him the all powerful wanker sign at which point he beeped back at me and started to try and drive up behind me so I went between two cars and left him to stew in his own anger.
Anyway, full holiday review coming before the end of the week. Honest.
Oh well, back to the old grindstone. The holiday was fantastic, the kids had a great time and so did the adults.
On the return flight Wifey and I were witnesses to a mild air rage incident where a steward was accused of being rude by a man who was shouting at him. The steward had pointed out to the mans wife that she should use the toilets at the rear of the plane and not the ones in business class. We had to fill in a report because the incident happened right in front of us and the man insisted that it was taken further. The steward wasn't rude to the lady at all and when he directed her to the correct toilets she said "oh sor-ry" in a very sarcastic and childish manner. The man was a great big fat pig with a very aggressive manner.
It's funny (not) how quite often people who are in the wrong become aggressive and threatening when trying to get what they want. You get loads of examples of this if you watch Airline on telly, which is a fly on the wall series about Easyjet airline. The one incident that sticks in my mind was when a "businessman" and his wife were refused to fly because for some reason that was entirely his fault ( I think it might have been that they had a pet that hadn't been quarantined). The "businessman"went on to blame the airline, shout at them, argue and generally make a right prat of himself on national TV but what did it for me was when the easyjet person pointed out that were they to let him fly, the plane could be refused to land and sent back and he would be liable for the cost of the fuel, about £10,000.Too which he replied in a very matter of fact way "I'll pay that, no problem, I'll pay for for the fuel" as if he expected Easyjet to change their minds and say "der, yeah, okay". Easyjet is a cheap bargain bucket no frills airline if this man honestly expected anyone to believe that he had 10 grand just lying around why the fuck wasn't he traveling first class on British Airways.
Riding the SV along the A13 this morning, just pootling along in the middle lane minding my own business when a nob in a Volvo moves into my lane, without looking, without indicating and without caring about the fact that there happens to be a bloke on a motorbike (me) occupying the space he was about to enter. I beeped him and accelerated a bit to get in front, he looked out of his side window and began sticking his fingers up and swearing ( it's amazing what you can lip read) with a look of pure hatred on his face. What a pillock, he was completly in the wrong.
As I rode past I shook my head and gave him the all powerful wanker sign at which point he beeped back at me and started to try and drive up behind me so I went between two cars and left him to stew in his own anger.
Anyway, full holiday review coming before the end of the week. Honest.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Intermission
Right then I'm off to Florida. Back on april 15th
4 adults and 6 kids, this isn't going to be a relaxing holiday.
In the meantime please read one of the far more interesting blogs listed in the sidebar under the heading Pearls of wisdom, go on just pick one you've never visited before, who knows where you'll end up.
Right then I'm off to Florida. Back on april 15th
4 adults and 6 kids, this isn't going to be a relaxing holiday.
In the meantime please read one of the far more interesting blogs listed in the sidebar under the heading Pearls of wisdom, go on just pick one you've never visited before, who knows where you'll end up.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Lush
Last week Wifey went out on the lash twice! On friday she went out with the mums for a meal and on wednesday the bossman at the nusery where she works took out all the staff for a meal to say thank you for all their hard work.
One man and seventeen women and guess what they talked about all night? ...... yes, SEX!
Poor bloke must have been like a frightened rabbit caught in a car's headlights.
Last week Wifey went out on the lash twice! On friday she went out with the mums for a meal and on wednesday the bossman at the nusery where she works took out all the staff for a meal to say thank you for all their hard work.
One man and seventeen women and guess what they talked about all night? ...... yes, SEX!
Poor bloke must have been like a frightened rabbit caught in a car's headlights.
Friday, March 24, 2006
It's life Gym, but not as we know it
Buzz Lightweight has got a new obsession, he now treats his body as a temple and has joined the on-site gym .He goes 3 times a week. In order to change himself into Buff Lightweight, Buzz has become a gym bunny.
The only problem with this is that he keeps disappearing to the gym, without telling anyone, when he should be working.
I can't go into much detail because it's a work thing but it reached a head last week when he came back from the gym and then sat on his arse for 3/4 of an hour when there was work outstanding.
I had a go at him, in the printroom, out loud, in front of everyone.
He said "hold on, lets have this conversation in private" I was on a roll, I said "no" and carried on listing his faults.
A bit later on he confronted me for round 2, I offered him a compromise which he thought was fair and far as I was concerned the issue was dealt with and closed. Buzz apparently thought different.
Buzz has some difficulties in his home life and he said that going to the gym helped him to relieve the stress he had been under. This is fair enough and I'm glad I don't have the same problems he has got but I just felt that in a close working enviroment you have got to be flexible and work with a bit of give and take and he was taking too much. Going to the gym is not something that I would do during the working day, even if I did claim it was my lunchbreak.
He called me aside on wednesday and stated that he had thought I went way over the top and it was so unfair and nobody likes me ,everybody hates me, I'm going to go and eat worms. He also took the opportunity to kindly remind me that my role in the site as unofficial lead engineer does not mean I'm in charge and that I'm just the same as him (I wanted to say "I am not the same as you!", but I bit my tongue and held it in) and that I am just a liason for the client.
I'm not sure if he was expecting an apology or not but he didn't get one.
Yesterday I arrive at work on late shift to be told by Cap'n Bob that Buzz has gone sick and once again his wife phoned in for him. This is, I think, the 5th time he has been off sick in the 18 months that he has worked here. In early February I had one and a half days off sick, this was the first sick time I have had for at least 3 years.
Buzz repairing a copier earlier in the week
He was off again today which means he won't be in tomorrow for the overtime he was so desperate for when he came here.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Halle-fecking-lujah
This weekend was the firms annual do. Wifey and I went to the very nice Ashford International Hotel for a dirty weekend, sorry I meant dinner dance.
The format was the same as usual, you pay a small contribution, you get a night in a posh hotel, dinner, drinks, a raffle, breakfast and a headache.
If any one should happen to recall my post last year you may remember that I am only slightly bitter and twisted about the fact that we have never won a thing in the raffle. Not a fucking sausage, when some people seem to win every year. Bastards.
The raffle prizes range from small items like playstations, pamper days, dvd players up to bigger items like Hifi systems, adventure days and the big daddy prize this year was a 32" LCD telly. They also have a couple of small table prizes which are not part of the main raffle. Last year I won a cheapo MP3 player as the table prize, this was the only thing I'd ever won in about ten years of going.
The raffle started, a few small prizes went, one of the pamper days was the next prize, we didnt want it, we didn't win it Pheww close escape. Next prize up was a playstation with games, we wanted it, we didn't get it. A few more prizes went, Fishboy won a slimline dvd player. Bastard. Bazza won a Sony DAB radio mini system mp3 hifi. Utter Bastard. Next up was a Tassimo coffee making gizmo, the Big boss calls out "I don't believe, it's gone to a site engineer who's probably drunk more cofee that the rest of us put together, it s Mick ......" YYYYesss, get in!
I strolled up to get my prize, soaking up the applause, and made some witty comment about does it make doughnuts aswell.
Now I didn't particularly want a coffee maker, it was too big for our kitchen but I was chuffed to buggery to actually win something. Bazza asked if we wanted to swap his HiFi for the coffee making gizmo ( He wanted to give it to his mum for mothers day) seeing as we currently didn't have a Hifi we said yes.
The raffle is usually drawn using peoples name tags for the seating arrangements but this year for the main prize (the LCD TV) they adopted a different approach. The final winner was to be found by playing heads and tails. This involved everybody standing and putting their hands on their heads or their arses then one of the managers flipped a coin, if it was heads then all the tails went out and vice versa.
I started on heads, the coin was flipped heads it was. A few people sat down. I looked around and saw that most people had chosen heads for the second round so I choose tails. The coin was flipped, spinning high into the air, and then slapped onto the back of the callers hand. Tails. Now there was less than 15 people left, Fishboy was the only other person on our table, he choose heads, so did I. Suddenly Fishboy's wife turned round and said to me "you should choose something different so our table has more chance" I replied with something along the lines of "it's every man for themselves" but the damage was done. Stay the same or change to tails? the dilema was raging in my head, the caller was about to toss the coin AAARRRGHHH what do I do? right at the last minute I changed to tails. The coin sailed into the air the caller caught it and shouted out "heads". Bollocks.
The remaining 5 people were all called out the front and two tosses later the 32" LCD tv went to the girlfriend of one of the ex-apprentices. lucky cow.
Overall it was a good function, the venue was one of the best I've been to and it was nice to have a break from the kids (especially for Wifey) and best of all we actually won something.
This weekend was the firms annual do. Wifey and I went to the very nice Ashford International Hotel for a dirty weekend, sorry I meant dinner dance.
The format was the same as usual, you pay a small contribution, you get a night in a posh hotel, dinner, drinks, a raffle, breakfast and a headache.
If any one should happen to recall my post last year you may remember that I am only slightly bitter and twisted about the fact that we have never won a thing in the raffle. Not a fucking sausage, when some people seem to win every year. Bastards.
The raffle prizes range from small items like playstations, pamper days, dvd players up to bigger items like Hifi systems, adventure days and the big daddy prize this year was a 32" LCD telly. They also have a couple of small table prizes which are not part of the main raffle. Last year I won a cheapo MP3 player as the table prize, this was the only thing I'd ever won in about ten years of going.
The raffle started, a few small prizes went, one of the pamper days was the next prize, we didnt want it, we didn't win it Pheww close escape. Next prize up was a playstation with games, we wanted it, we didn't get it. A few more prizes went, Fishboy won a slimline dvd player. Bastard. Bazza won a Sony DAB radio mini system mp3 hifi. Utter Bastard. Next up was a Tassimo coffee making gizmo, the Big boss calls out "I don't believe, it's gone to a site engineer who's probably drunk more cofee that the rest of us put together, it s Mick ......" YYYYesss, get in!
I strolled up to get my prize, soaking up the applause, and made some witty comment about does it make doughnuts aswell.
Now I didn't particularly want a coffee maker, it was too big for our kitchen but I was chuffed to buggery to actually win something. Bazza asked if we wanted to swap his HiFi for the coffee making gizmo ( He wanted to give it to his mum for mothers day) seeing as we currently didn't have a Hifi we said yes.
The raffle is usually drawn using peoples name tags for the seating arrangements but this year for the main prize (the LCD TV) they adopted a different approach. The final winner was to be found by playing heads and tails. This involved everybody standing and putting their hands on their heads or their arses then one of the managers flipped a coin, if it was heads then all the tails went out and vice versa.
I started on heads, the coin was flipped heads it was. A few people sat down. I looked around and saw that most people had chosen heads for the second round so I choose tails. The coin was flipped, spinning high into the air, and then slapped onto the back of the callers hand. Tails. Now there was less than 15 people left, Fishboy was the only other person on our table, he choose heads, so did I. Suddenly Fishboy's wife turned round and said to me "you should choose something different so our table has more chance" I replied with something along the lines of "it's every man for themselves" but the damage was done. Stay the same or change to tails? the dilema was raging in my head, the caller was about to toss the coin AAARRRGHHH what do I do? right at the last minute I changed to tails. The coin sailed into the air the caller caught it and shouted out "heads". Bollocks.
The remaining 5 people were all called out the front and two tosses later the 32" LCD tv went to the girlfriend of one of the ex-apprentices. lucky cow.
Overall it was a good function, the venue was one of the best I've been to and it was nice to have a break from the kids (especially for Wifey) and best of all we actually won something.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Customer Service
my broadband connection has been running a bit slow for some time now and I have been meaning to phone Bulldog's support line for ages but just haven't got round to it. Last Wednesday (1st march) I did get round to it. They answered the phone quickly and the support guy was very helpful and told me a few things to try but said that he couldn't log the call as their system was down and suggested that I phone back later. I decided to e-mail the tech support my problem as I was to busy to fanny about phoning up.
One of the things the oringinal support guy suggested was that as my broadband router was plugged into a phone extension socket I should unplug it and plug it into the BT master socket to see if the problem is caused by a bad conncetion in the house, fair enough I thought, but not so easy to implement. My broadband router is connected to the PC with a network patch cable, the PC is in the extension at the far back of the house, the BT master socket is in the hallway near the front of the house. Due to my neverending networking studies I have 4 PC's, a couple of hubs, a Cisco router and a Cisco switch all piled up on a wall unit type thing. Moving one of these to the hallway was not an option. so I needed either a long phone line, I haven't got one, or a long patch cable so I only need move the broadband router, I haven't got one of these either but I know a man who does.
So yesterday I manage to borrow the cable which I'll be trying out tonight and also yestreday I finally got a reply to my e-mail from bulldog support over a week after I sent it. It said I should phone tech support!
my broadband connection has been running a bit slow for some time now and I have been meaning to phone Bulldog's support line for ages but just haven't got round to it. Last Wednesday (1st march) I did get round to it. They answered the phone quickly and the support guy was very helpful and told me a few things to try but said that he couldn't log the call as their system was down and suggested that I phone back later. I decided to e-mail the tech support my problem as I was to busy to fanny about phoning up.
One of the things the oringinal support guy suggested was that as my broadband router was plugged into a phone extension socket I should unplug it and plug it into the BT master socket to see if the problem is caused by a bad conncetion in the house, fair enough I thought, but not so easy to implement. My broadband router is connected to the PC with a network patch cable, the PC is in the extension at the far back of the house, the BT master socket is in the hallway near the front of the house. Due to my neverending networking studies I have 4 PC's, a couple of hubs, a Cisco router and a Cisco switch all piled up on a wall unit type thing. Moving one of these to the hallway was not an option. so I needed either a long phone line, I haven't got one, or a long patch cable so I only need move the broadband router, I haven't got one of these either but I know a man who does.
So yesterday I manage to borrow the cable which I'll be trying out tonight and also yestreday I finally got a reply to my e-mail from bulldog support over a week after I sent it. It said I should phone tech support!
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Harvey.
Early in 1991 my then girlfriend and I bought a dog. We had decided to get one from Battersea Dogs Home. We didn't, instead we drove to Wales and bought a liver spotted Dalmation.
We had been planning it for ages and had already decided on a name, Lung. Yes you read that right the dog was to be called Lung. We could not think of a name beforehand and so as a joke I said "I'll flip through the dictionary and jab my finger and what ever word I land on is what we'll call the dog" I landed on Lung and it kind of stuck.
When we saw him we thought he doesn't really look like a Lung so another name was needed. The dogs dad was called Harry and I really liked that, it was so different from the usual Rex, Fido or Spot. So I thought about it and decided on Harvey.
The Girlfriend left, Harvey stayed.
Around 1996 I had met Wifey and we were buying a house in South Ockendon, my current house in Barking was in a safe little haven and I used to leave the back door open so Harvey could wander in and out and not shred the funiture (which he did if I locked him in). In the new house this wouldn't be possible and so it became clear that I could no longer look after Harvey without either locking him in or locking him out. This was not fair to him and I wouldn't do it.
Whenever I visited my Dad and stepmum I always took Harvey with me and they absolutely loved him. I agonised over asking dad if they wanted to look after him as he already had to look after my stepmum who is crippled with MS. He said yes without thinking.
Since then Harvey brought so much happiness to my Dad I knew I had made the right decision and realised that Harvey was so much better off with them than he had ever been with me.
Harvey provided much needed relief from the stress of looking after a demanding woman in a wheelchair.
Harvey was always a bit of a lively dog and was always enthusiastic when meeting people, at age 15 he still wanted to behave like a puppy but his body could no longer keep up. In the last few years he had become increasingly less agile and sufferered from arthritis aswell as a few other illness's.
On Monday Dad phoned me to say that Harvey hadn't been well and that he had taken him to the vets and Harvey had been kept in.
Harvey, the only pet I've ever owned, the most lovable cheeky fella and cause of much chaos was put to sleep on wednesday.
Early in 1991 my then girlfriend and I bought a dog. We had decided to get one from Battersea Dogs Home. We didn't, instead we drove to Wales and bought a liver spotted Dalmation.
We had been planning it for ages and had already decided on a name, Lung. Yes you read that right the dog was to be called Lung. We could not think of a name beforehand and so as a joke I said "I'll flip through the dictionary and jab my finger and what ever word I land on is what we'll call the dog" I landed on Lung and it kind of stuck.
When we saw him we thought he doesn't really look like a Lung so another name was needed. The dogs dad was called Harry and I really liked that, it was so different from the usual Rex, Fido or Spot. So I thought about it and decided on Harvey.
The Girlfriend left, Harvey stayed.
Around 1996 I had met Wifey and we were buying a house in South Ockendon, my current house in Barking was in a safe little haven and I used to leave the back door open so Harvey could wander in and out and not shred the funiture (which he did if I locked him in). In the new house this wouldn't be possible and so it became clear that I could no longer look after Harvey without either locking him in or locking him out. This was not fair to him and I wouldn't do it.
Whenever I visited my Dad and stepmum I always took Harvey with me and they absolutely loved him. I agonised over asking dad if they wanted to look after him as he already had to look after my stepmum who is crippled with MS. He said yes without thinking.
Since then Harvey brought so much happiness to my Dad I knew I had made the right decision and realised that Harvey was so much better off with them than he had ever been with me.
Harvey provided much needed relief from the stress of looking after a demanding woman in a wheelchair.
Harvey was always a bit of a lively dog and was always enthusiastic when meeting people, at age 15 he still wanted to behave like a puppy but his body could no longer keep up. In the last few years he had become increasingly less agile and sufferered from arthritis aswell as a few other illness's.
On Monday Dad phoned me to say that Harvey hadn't been well and that he had taken him to the vets and Harvey had been kept in.
Harvey, the only pet I've ever owned, the most lovable cheeky fella and cause of much chaos was put to sleep on wednesday.
Harvey when he was little.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Fist of Fury
Big'un had his third Wing Chun kung Fu grading last Saturday and did very well, we'll find out if he past in another week or so.
Leading up to this I told him that he needed to do some practice as he hadn't been to classes for over a week due to illness. The phrase "be careful what you wish for" has never been truer.
On Monday when Wifey took Big'un to School Wifey was approached by the mum of big'uns best friend who asked
"did Big'un tell you about the incident on Friday?"
"no?" replied Wifey.
Apparently during a game with two other boys, whom I'll name Karate Kid (he does Karate you see) and Psycho (he's a bit odd you see) there was an incident where the Karate kid punched Best Friend in the stomach at which point Big'un "did some Kung Fu" on the Karate Kid.
I remind you that Big'un is aged 7.
Wifey and I both asked him about "the incident" separately. I stressed to him that I wasn't cross and this is the reason he does Kung Fu and sticking up for his friend was very honourable.
Big'un told me that after the Karate Kid punched Best friend, the Karate kid tried to punch him and he blocked it using Bong Sau (wing arm block)* then KK tried to pull his hair and that was the end of it as the dinner lady broke it up.
It is just like the plot of Fist of Fury with the Karate school verses the Kung Fu school, Fantastic!
The school playground, last Friday.
* of course the correct Wing Chun technique would have been to block and simultaneously counterpunch and then follow up with punches to the face until the opponent starts bleeding and stops moving, but I felt this would be a bit extreme for 7 year olds so I didn't point it out to Big'un :-)
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Wifey was not happy....
when I told her I was going on a course (which meant staying away from home) for two weeks, one of which was school half term. In fact, not happy is somewhat of an understatement. She was mighty pissed.
The Firm's training centre is in a very nice mansion house near Reading and going on a course usually involves;
- driving up in a hire car on the Sunday night and arriving just in time to catch the bar
- spending one or two weeks pulling apart a large production printer or some such device
- putting it back together
- pulling it apart and putting back again so that it works this time
- eating a lot
- drinking a lot (for me anyway)
- burping and farting a lot
- talking a whole load of bollocks with like minded people that you have never met before.
- getting bored
But this course was different because it wasn't a hardware course it was a software course and it wasn't an engineers course it was a network support analyst's course.
The network support job is a move up that I have been working to get for a few years now and due to the fact that a couple of big obstacles have been removed from my path (they left the company) I'm in a good position and this course was a big step in the right direction. It doesn't mean I'm likely to get the job any time soon though. I really can't say much about this as it involves work and the company.
Staying at the mansion house is nice but you get a bit fed with it after a while, and having been there so many times over the years the only different thing is that the people who run the centre seem to find a new way in which they can fuck up the restaurant arrangements.
room with a view
On the return journey for the second week I got stuck in a jam on the M4 only ten minutes away from the training centre and I didn't move for two and a half hours. Listening to a Harry Potter book on CD helped to pass the time.
After a couple of hours I decided to get out of the car, stretch my legs a bit and have a wee. I was parked in the middle lane and there were two lorries on the inside, as I walked between them to the hard shoulder to empty my bladder I noticed a police car a bit further back on the hard shoulder with it's lights on full blast. Which meant that I was bathed in light. I was a bit desparate by this time so I had no choice but to turn my back and grin and bear it, as it were, and have an illuminated wazz. It wasn't long before things started moving and less than a mile up the M4 was the scene of a horrendous accident which had left two cars with the roofs cut off, one of them was covered with a tarpaulin which I assume meant it was fatal.
same room, different view
After two weeks I returned home safely, my brain swollen like a Tefal scientist with new knowledge. Despite her concerns Wifey had not gone completly insane with post traumatic childcare disorder and all three boys seemed to unharmed by the experience of having no daddy for most of two weeks.
Back at work has been busy as usual but this doesn't appear to stopped Buzz from his new obsession. He has joined the Gym.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Friday, January 27, 2006
Milky Milky
With the baby being 16 months now Wifey has decided that he is no longer going to be getting draft mummy juice. Yes she has decided that enough is enough and it is time to stop breast feeding and regain possession of her thrupenny's.
I am a bit sad at the fact I will no longer be able to have a sneaky ogle every time she whips them out but, on the plus side the baby started sleeping better right from the first night.
It has been 4 days now since the breast feeding stopped and Wifey's knockers have inflated like Jordan's and become very tender. Out of the goodness of my heart I offered to vigorously massage them for her but she just said "get off you perv"
Ruby Thursday
Last night I went out on a team meal to our Local curry house the Tale of India , had a few beers and the worlds hottest chicken Jhalfrezi. We have been using the Tale of India for our team meals for about 6 six years and I highly recommend it if you happen to be in Docklands and in urgent need of a ruby.
I'm not much of a boozer and last night I had one bottle of Corona in the pub (which I managed to knock over, so only drank two thirds of it) and in the resturant I had 2 jumbo sized bottles of Cobra of which I only drank one and a half. This morning I had a bit of a headache and have felt very sluggish all day. At age 41 after two and a bit beers I'm wrecked. This is a sad state of affairs.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Celebrity Freak Show
Because I'm sad I have been watching Celebrity Big Brother. It has so far been the usual mix of minor or faded celebs (who all apparently "hate" the word celebrity) faking kindness and respect for their peers and gradually getting on eah others nerves and having a series of minor hissy fits. But on last night's programme it all got a bit nasty.
The group were given a banking task, and Preston (who?) and Chantelle (who?) as the bank directors were given special access to an exclusive club (a plush secret room with food and drink). Preston and Channy were told they had to keep it a secret.
The rest of the group were later told about the club and the fact that it was to be kept secret.
In what turned out to be a really nasty row Pete "I'm a not a gay transexual" Burns and George "saddam's bitch" Galloway ganged up on Preston and Channy for being "lying little sneaks" when they knew they were under orders to lie to win the task. The row also dragged in Dennis "I don't give shit" Rodman on the the attack and Michael "what was that splash" Barrymore came to the defence of the much younger Peston and Channy.
What this row showed to me was that George Galloway has probably destroyed his politcal career by doing this programme and Pete Burns showed that he is also ugly on the inside.
Pete Burns in the CBB house Jacuzzi yesterday
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
"AArrgghh please don't drag me off by my ankles to your basement dungeon, torture me, bugger me and murder me horribly"......
... was the thought that went through my mind as I looked at his wild hair and mad staring eyes.
On Sunday I had decided that I was going to wash my bike and nothing was going to stop me, not children, not Wifey, not nothing. So at about 6 o'clock in the pitch dark there I was alone in the access road /alleyway that runs behind my garage, washing my bike. The only light came from my garage and a small light on the back of the garage to help me see when I get in late.
I was suddenly aware of a large man striding purposely up the alley towards me in the darkness, he walks past me and then stops dead in his tracks and half turns around to stare back down the alley.
I casually look at him and notice his remarkable resemblence to Oddbod from Carry on Screaming. It was at this point that I started to suspect that he was a serial killer.
Oddbod continued to stare down the alley for about a minute (which believe me is a long time when you're face to face with a (potential) unhinged killer) "you alright mate?" I enquired.
He lurched forwards towards me and in a voice like a deaf person* loudly said "3 kid, throw 'tones at my house" I was taken back by the suddenness of his outburst and also by his mad staring eyes.
"no one has come down here in the last 15 minutes" I said whilst thinking "AArrgghh please don't drag me off by my ankles to your basement dungeon, torture me, bugger me and murder me horribly".
Oddbod pointed at his head and then at his arm and said something along the lines of "last time, 'it my head" and then something about his brothers arm. "oh" "er" "that's not nice is it?, I'll keep my eyes open for anyone coming this way". By this time I was convinced I'd never see my wife and children again and that I would live out my years in a dingy cellar as Oddbod's sex bitch.
Oddbod said something about the Police not being interested and then turned round and marched off up the alley. I have to say that although he was in no way threatening I was actually a bit scared. What a wuss.
After narrowly escaping death and washing the bike, safely back indoors I remarked to Wifey "oh by the way I had a run in with a mass murderer out the back of the garage" "oh" she replied feining interest as as if I was talking nonsense "would you like a cup of tea?"
*footnote: If you've ever spoken with a deaf person you'll know what I mean, but what was strange was that he appeared to hear everything I said to him!
... was the thought that went through my mind as I looked at his wild hair and mad staring eyes.
On Sunday I had decided that I was going to wash my bike and nothing was going to stop me, not children, not Wifey, not nothing. So at about 6 o'clock in the pitch dark there I was alone in the access road /alleyway that runs behind my garage, washing my bike. The only light came from my garage and a small light on the back of the garage to help me see when I get in late.
I was suddenly aware of a large man striding purposely up the alley towards me in the darkness, he walks past me and then stops dead in his tracks and half turns around to stare back down the alley.
I casually look at him and notice his remarkable resemblence to Oddbod from Carry on Screaming. It was at this point that I started to suspect that he was a serial killer.
Oddbod continued to stare down the alley for about a minute (which believe me is a long time when you're face to face with a (potential) unhinged killer) "you alright mate?" I enquired.
He lurched forwards towards me and in a voice like a deaf person* loudly said "3 kid, throw 'tones at my house" I was taken back by the suddenness of his outburst and also by his mad staring eyes.
"no one has come down here in the last 15 minutes" I said whilst thinking "AArrgghh please don't drag me off by my ankles to your basement dungeon, torture me, bugger me and murder me horribly".
Oddbod pointed at his head and then at his arm and said something along the lines of "last time, 'it my head" and then something about his brothers arm. "oh" "er" "that's not nice is it?, I'll keep my eyes open for anyone coming this way". By this time I was convinced I'd never see my wife and children again and that I would live out my years in a dingy cellar as Oddbod's sex bitch.
Oddbod said something about the Police not being interested and then turned round and marched off up the alley. I have to say that although he was in no way threatening I was actually a bit scared. What a wuss.
After narrowly escaping death and washing the bike, safely back indoors I remarked to Wifey "oh by the way I had a run in with a mass murderer out the back of the garage" "oh" she replied feining interest as as if I was talking nonsense "would you like a cup of tea?"
*footnote: If you've ever spoken with a deaf person you'll know what I mean, but what was strange was that he appeared to hear everything I said to him!
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Bluurrgghh!!
This post is dedicated to Gemmak to reinforce her choice not to have kids and to NML, whose Mum is desperate for NML to produce some grandchildren, as a warning.
Tuesday evening I got home from work at about six o'clock to find Big'un sitting on one sofa watching the Simpsons and Little'un lying on the other sofa with his head on a pillow. Wifey tells me that Little'un didn't eat much dinner and said he wanted lie down as he was tired.
Two minutes later big'un says "Daddy look" and points at Little'un being sick on the sofa. I grab Little'un, sit him up and shout to Big'un to bring me some kitchen roll. Little'un brings up a huge amount of sick which I skillfully manage to catch on a cushion ( I swear he must be like Dr Who's Tardis, bigger on the inside as he produced so much vomit) anyway Big'un returns. With one sheet of kitchen roll. Great. "GET ME SOME MORE" I scream at him while trying to prevent sick from running down the back of the sofa with my hand, he brings another two sheets and says "I'll get you some more if you need it!
Wifey had taken the Baby up for a bath, so I escorted Little'un up for a bath aswell, it wasn't until I started to clean up properly that the full horror of the situation became clear.
We have Leather sofas, we bought these deliberately as leather is easy to clean. When you lift the seat cushions off however the base and sides of the sofas are just thin material. Little'un had managed to sick the mother lode down the side of the sofa where it had run into the base.
It took me 2 hours to clean up and I had to up-end the sofa and cut open the underneath to clean out the sick.
In the meantime Wifey had bathed all 3 kids and put them all to bed. As Wifey had a friend visiting the next day we still had to tidy up, wash the floor , hoover etc, you know do all the things you only do when people are visiting. The baby woke and Wifey tried to get him back to sleep while I did the housework. At 9:30 I went out for some chips (the only cure when in times of stress) and then managed to watch Jonathan Ross' Asian Invasion on BBC4 (it was fantastic, all about extreme Japanese films, make sure you check it out next week as it's about Hong Kong cinema)
I retired to bed at 11:00 very tired. At approx 05:30 I was woken by the sound of Little'un traipsing in to our room, where he announced,
"my trousers are wet"
AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!.
This post is dedicated to Gemmak to reinforce her choice not to have kids and to NML, whose Mum is desperate for NML to produce some grandchildren, as a warning.
Tuesday evening I got home from work at about six o'clock to find Big'un sitting on one sofa watching the Simpsons and Little'un lying on the other sofa with his head on a pillow. Wifey tells me that Little'un didn't eat much dinner and said he wanted lie down as he was tired.
Two minutes later big'un says "Daddy look" and points at Little'un being sick on the sofa. I grab Little'un, sit him up and shout to Big'un to bring me some kitchen roll. Little'un brings up a huge amount of sick which I skillfully manage to catch on a cushion ( I swear he must be like Dr Who's Tardis, bigger on the inside as he produced so much vomit) anyway Big'un returns. With one sheet of kitchen roll. Great. "GET ME SOME MORE" I scream at him while trying to prevent sick from running down the back of the sofa with my hand, he brings another two sheets and says "I'll get you some more if you need it!
Wifey had taken the Baby up for a bath, so I escorted Little'un up for a bath aswell, it wasn't until I started to clean up properly that the full horror of the situation became clear.
We have Leather sofas, we bought these deliberately as leather is easy to clean. When you lift the seat cushions off however the base and sides of the sofas are just thin material. Little'un had managed to sick the mother lode down the side of the sofa where it had run into the base.
It took me 2 hours to clean up and I had to up-end the sofa and cut open the underneath to clean out the sick.
In the meantime Wifey had bathed all 3 kids and put them all to bed. As Wifey had a friend visiting the next day we still had to tidy up, wash the floor , hoover etc, you know do all the things you only do when people are visiting. The baby woke and Wifey tried to get him back to sleep while I did the housework. At 9:30 I went out for some chips (the only cure when in times of stress) and then managed to watch Jonathan Ross' Asian Invasion on BBC4 (it was fantastic, all about extreme Japanese films, make sure you check it out next week as it's about Hong Kong cinema)
I retired to bed at 11:00 very tired. At approx 05:30 I was woken by the sound of Little'un traipsing in to our room, where he announced,
"my trousers are wet"
AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!.
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